So as I live and grow in Mali, my hair is also growing without being permed every 4-6 weeks and I'm loving it! But, as always, I've got haters telling me I need to get my hair braided or cut. I'm like, "What the heck? Why? Do you not like my hair,?" and my haters are like, "No, I like your hair, but you need to get it braided or cut. But, why?
Finally, the other day, a girl gave me a reason to this madness: she said, "You should get it braided because everyone else has their hair braided," Aha! This opened up a whole new issue on the mentality of people here, especially women. In this culture, appearance is everything, especially if you don't have anything going for you, then it really is everything. And what's really interesting is that these women don't mind looking like the next woman.
Yesterday, I went to a wedding and it really surprised me that half of the women in-attendance were wearing the same fabric. That would never happen at home, unless you're in the marriage party, a sorority, a family reunion or bar/bat mitzvah.
Being different is somewhat more encouraged where I grew up and this is a big difference between me and Malian women. Uniqueness is a good thing. This is what America was built on: daredevils. So, it takes bravery to be oneself and this seems to be lacking here.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Tell Me Who I Am, Who I Am
A person's race is an interesting subject. It's frustrating enough trying to figure what a person's character is, but to add the question of genetics is another twist to the mystery of someone. "What are you?" Well, what exactly does that mean? I answer, "African-American," but then people ask, "What country in Africa are your parents from?" My response, "I don't know," I receive puzzling looks.
I then give a summarized version of African-slavery in America. Then they say, "You don't look African," what does that mean? You can't tell by looking at someone what their place of origin is. But then I ask myself, "Am I African-American?" Just because I have darker skin and coarser hair, doesn't mean I'm "African-American," I'm an American, who's Black.
So, then I say, "I'm Black-American," but they say that I'm not Black, because my skin isn't as dark as theirs and my hair is not as nappy and I dress and act differently. So, then I tell them that my ancestors come from many places, including Africa, and this is why I look the way that I do and my culture is different. Then, they're confused why I call myself "Black". And a few months later, they'll ask me again, "What are you?" If Africans don't even think I'm Black, then what am I?
What is Black? This is a question the world has been asking for so long, because we're such a unique race with so many different colors, hair types, bone structures. We're sweet, too sweet to comprehend, even among ourselves (lol).
I then give a summarized version of African-slavery in America. Then they say, "You don't look African," what does that mean? You can't tell by looking at someone what their place of origin is. But then I ask myself, "Am I African-American?" Just because I have darker skin and coarser hair, doesn't mean I'm "African-American," I'm an American, who's Black.
So, then I say, "I'm Black-American," but they say that I'm not Black, because my skin isn't as dark as theirs and my hair is not as nappy and I dress and act differently. So, then I tell them that my ancestors come from many places, including Africa, and this is why I look the way that I do and my culture is different. Then, they're confused why I call myself "Black". And a few months later, they'll ask me again, "What are you?" If Africans don't even think I'm Black, then what am I?
What is Black? This is a question the world has been asking for so long, because we're such a unique race with so many different colors, hair types, bone structures. We're sweet, too sweet to comprehend, even among ourselves (lol).
Cynicsm
I'm making plans for my house now. It's finished! It's over-due (again) by almost three weeks, but I now have a place to call home. I guess I should just keep reminding myself that I'm in Mali and keep my expectations low. Though, it's sad that I have to think that way. One thing that I've heard about PCVs is that those who serve in South America become politically active/aware, those who serve in Eastern Europe become alcoholics and those who serve in Africa become cynical.
I'm starting to see some truth in that statement. Typically, I'm an optimist, I still am, but I'm becoming more of a realist duriing my time in Mali. I believe that anyone can make a difference in this world, but if they don't want to, then nothing will be changed. I'm sure I'm not the first to ask this question, but "How can the African-mindset be changed?"
Or, should it even be changed? Maybe this is the way it should be to keep order in the world. I'm definitely sure I'm not the first Westerner to think that, because it is so hard to work in Africa. Westerners are used to a faster pace of things and believe that "time is money," but that concept doesn't really exist here.
However, the beauty in that nonexistance is that there is more time for people. Even though I'm not always a fan, I understand the reasoning that people are important (lol). But sometimes, they have to realize that they are in a meeting room with a lot of people who are trying to get home. You can't take 10 minutes to greet the average-Mousa who just walked in, even if he is your best friend! I don't see this behavior changing at all, because it's ingrained in them.
Another issue is the mindset in education. I know I've already touched on this, so I'll just say a short statement about it. Most students go to school and sit, copy, sit, go home, eat, sleep, go back to school, sit, copy, sit, go home, do things, might have homework to do, but no studying is done. No real learning is done, only memorization from what I can see. How can this change? I don't see it changing...........
I'm such a cynic.
I'm starting to see some truth in that statement. Typically, I'm an optimist, I still am, but I'm becoming more of a realist duriing my time in Mali. I believe that anyone can make a difference in this world, but if they don't want to, then nothing will be changed. I'm sure I'm not the first to ask this question, but "How can the African-mindset be changed?"
Or, should it even be changed? Maybe this is the way it should be to keep order in the world. I'm definitely sure I'm not the first Westerner to think that, because it is so hard to work in Africa. Westerners are used to a faster pace of things and believe that "time is money," but that concept doesn't really exist here.
However, the beauty in that nonexistance is that there is more time for people. Even though I'm not always a fan, I understand the reasoning that people are important (lol). But sometimes, they have to realize that they are in a meeting room with a lot of people who are trying to get home. You can't take 10 minutes to greet the average-Mousa who just walked in, even if he is your best friend! I don't see this behavior changing at all, because it's ingrained in them.
Another issue is the mindset in education. I know I've already touched on this, so I'll just say a short statement about it. Most students go to school and sit, copy, sit, go home, eat, sleep, go back to school, sit, copy, sit, go home, do things, might have homework to do, but no studying is done. No real learning is done, only memorization from what I can see. How can this change? I don't see it changing...........
I'm such a cynic.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Random-fun/scary thoughts
sSo you know what's cool about traveling? When you travel to another part of the world, you can be whoever you want. You can change your name, your hair, your clothes, the language you speak, your personality, whatever you want. But, what's weird is that there are some changes made that you have no control over. For instance, the color of my skin has changed, my body has changed, even the smell of my sweat has changed.
My perception and certain behaviors have changed as well. I used to be uncomfortable having people serve me food, set the table for me, draw my water, give up their seat for me, etc. But, now I find it strange when that's not done. Also, strangely, I'm more aware of the fact that I'm a woman here. Because I'm a woman, I have to dress a certain way, some men won't shake hands with me and I'm constantly being claimed as someone's wife. Even at certain restaurants, I find myself having to wait at least 10 minutes to be served, because I'm a woman. And secondly, it is made clear to me everyday, by Malians, that I am not African and most times, I'm not even Black. My own family still calls me a Tubab, but I ask myself "Do I really want to be treated as one of them?" I also wonder, "I came here to grow from this experience, but could I also be losing a part of myself as well?"
My perception and certain behaviors have changed as well. I used to be uncomfortable having people serve me food, set the table for me, draw my water, give up their seat for me, etc. But, now I find it strange when that's not done. Also, strangely, I'm more aware of the fact that I'm a woman here. Because I'm a woman, I have to dress a certain way, some men won't shake hands with me and I'm constantly being claimed as someone's wife. Even at certain restaurants, I find myself having to wait at least 10 minutes to be served, because I'm a woman. And secondly, it is made clear to me everyday, by Malians, that I am not African and most times, I'm not even Black. My own family still calls me a Tubab, but I ask myself "Do I really want to be treated as one of them?" I also wonder, "I came here to grow from this experience, but could I also be losing a part of myself as well?"
A Whole New World!
Coming into the Peace Corps, I knew that I would meet new people, learn a new language and live in a different culture, but I had no idea that it would be a great networking platform for me. I have met so many expats and volunteers from other countries and it's opened up a whole realm of different opportunities for me.
I've met ambassadors, mayors, other government officials, NGO reps and various other interesting people. My encounters with them have got me thinking of doing more international work, especially as my french-skills improve. Who knows, I might try working a year abroad somewhere.
Also, living/working here has caused me to be less afraid of taking chances and making mistakes. I make mistakes every day and it's alright, because as long as I make an effort, I know I've done my job. I have to take meetings with mayors, government officials, school officials and village chiefs in French, Bambara and Frambra (French/Bambara) and I'm not fluent in either, but I have to stand for my cause: the Malian-youth. These experiences are helping me to be a better, more cofindent me.
So, who knows who I'll be or what I'll be doing 1.5 years from now!
I've met ambassadors, mayors, other government officials, NGO reps and various other interesting people. My encounters with them have got me thinking of doing more international work, especially as my french-skills improve. Who knows, I might try working a year abroad somewhere.
Also, living/working here has caused me to be less afraid of taking chances and making mistakes. I make mistakes every day and it's alright, because as long as I make an effort, I know I've done my job. I have to take meetings with mayors, government officials, school officials and village chiefs in French, Bambara and Frambra (French/Bambara) and I'm not fluent in either, but I have to stand for my cause: the Malian-youth. These experiences are helping me to be a better, more cofindent me.
So, who knows who I'll be or what I'll be doing 1.5 years from now!
Barrake jumen Ne bolo?/Quelle travaille est-ce que je fais?/What do I work on?
During my bad month, I tried to stay focused on my work instead of my problems. But, I really wanted everything to be about me. However, I made some head-way on my work here! I have been working with the local high school to create a "Career Day" for the top students. I would have liked to have invited all of the students, but after creating a budget, I found that it's not feasible. So, what me and the director have planned is to invite eight professionals from various fields of work, to talk to the students about how they became lawyers, doctors, radio personalities, NGO workers, etc. And I hope, that this day will also be a platform for some networking and possible summer-internships for the students in attendance!
I came up with this idea after I sat in on a biology class. There were only five students seated there that day, out of a total of eight who are registered. And half of the class are girls. I talked with the teacher afterward to find out why the number of students focused on the sciences is so miniscule compared to the others. He said, the students are scared, lazy and not motivated and last year, there were 10 biology students and only five of them passed the Bacculaurate (an equivalent to an American high school diploma). This really saddened me because I was a science major and I want to motivate more students to pursue it. Hence, i asked the director if he'd be open to hosting a "Career Day" and voila, we plan to host one on April 9th!
My other project is the construction of a school library. I've asked the Ministry of Education for help on this project and from talking with them, I see that this is going to be a huge undertaking. I have to host meetings, write budgets/timelines, find funding, find books, find librarians. But the biggest stressor is working with people, and not just people, but people who have no concept of time! And honestly, I'm more like a "Creative Director", than a "Manager", but Peace Corps has provided me with tools to help me do all of this (Do any of you have tips on management???) But, I find myself wondering, "Did I jump into this too soon?" Maybe, maybe not, but this library is needed and I'm going to try my very best to get it done. Even if it takes the rest of my time here to finish it, it will get done.
Both of these projects are really going to be a test of my management and communication skills. Y'all keep praying for me!
I came up with this idea after I sat in on a biology class. There were only five students seated there that day, out of a total of eight who are registered. And half of the class are girls. I talked with the teacher afterward to find out why the number of students focused on the sciences is so miniscule compared to the others. He said, the students are scared, lazy and not motivated and last year, there were 10 biology students and only five of them passed the Bacculaurate (an equivalent to an American high school diploma). This really saddened me because I was a science major and I want to motivate more students to pursue it. Hence, i asked the director if he'd be open to hosting a "Career Day" and voila, we plan to host one on April 9th!
My other project is the construction of a school library. I've asked the Ministry of Education for help on this project and from talking with them, I see that this is going to be a huge undertaking. I have to host meetings, write budgets/timelines, find funding, find books, find librarians. But the biggest stressor is working with people, and not just people, but people who have no concept of time! And honestly, I'm more like a "Creative Director", than a "Manager", but Peace Corps has provided me with tools to help me do all of this (Do any of you have tips on management???) But, I find myself wondering, "Did I jump into this too soon?" Maybe, maybe not, but this library is needed and I'm going to try my very best to get it done. Even if it takes the rest of my time here to finish it, it will get done.
Both of these projects are really going to be a test of my management and communication skills. Y'all keep praying for me!
Just Breathe
So, a lot has happened over the past month and a half. This is the main reason why I haven't updated this blog.
I had a very rough January/part of February. After the Christmas break, I caught cold and I went in to see the doctor to find that my blood pressure was sky-high, 160/100! I, stupidly, hadn't been taking my medicine and the doctor made me stay in Bamako to get tested for various things for a week. They found that everything is fine, physically and I've lost 30 lbs. Since then, I had to come into Bamako every week to get my blood pressure checked. From coming in to talk with my doctor, we found that my high BP was caused by stress and anxiety, not because of my work, but because of my environment.
I have been living in one room, in a concession with 30 or so people , and it had finally taken its toll on me. There was always constant questioning and teasing from girls in my compound, who are clearly jealous of me and it got to me. But, it wasn't the actual teasing that got to me, it was the lack of personal space over a length of 6-months. Can you imagine living like this? I was feeling cornered-in and this is why I was having anxiety attacks. I couldn't focus on my work, I was escaping village whenever I could to get my much needed space.
But now, things are a lot better. I made my voice heard at the Peace Corps office and they have acted quickly on helping my family build my house! There was talk of PC finding me a new home outside of my families concession, but they decided it would not be safe. Therefore, I'll have three-rooms and a gwa (patio) built in my families concession. It will be finished by March 10th!
I had a very rough January/part of February. After the Christmas break, I caught cold and I went in to see the doctor to find that my blood pressure was sky-high, 160/100! I, stupidly, hadn't been taking my medicine and the doctor made me stay in Bamako to get tested for various things for a week. They found that everything is fine, physically and I've lost 30 lbs. Since then, I had to come into Bamako every week to get my blood pressure checked. From coming in to talk with my doctor, we found that my high BP was caused by stress and anxiety, not because of my work, but because of my environment.
I have been living in one room, in a concession with 30 or so people , and it had finally taken its toll on me. There was always constant questioning and teasing from girls in my compound, who are clearly jealous of me and it got to me. But, it wasn't the actual teasing that got to me, it was the lack of personal space over a length of 6-months. Can you imagine living like this? I was feeling cornered-in and this is why I was having anxiety attacks. I couldn't focus on my work, I was escaping village whenever I could to get my much needed space.
But now, things are a lot better. I made my voice heard at the Peace Corps office and they have acted quickly on helping my family build my house! There was talk of PC finding me a new home outside of my families concession, but they decided it would not be safe. Therefore, I'll have three-rooms and a gwa (patio) built in my families concession. It will be finished by March 10th!
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