When I came here, I had to go through a birthing process. I actually feel as if I've been a baby, child, a moody tween, a rebellious teenager and now I'm a young woman. I'll explain by going into further detail about each stage:
Baby Djeneba: born on July 4th, 2010, adopted by Djeneba Sidibe and the Dugutigi of my training village. I had no language skills, I could barely remember how to say hi in Bambara, so I mostly spoke in French. I burned my hand and tongue trying to eat Malian-dishes. I got sick all the time as my immune system got used to new bacterial diseases. I was wide-eyed and everything was brand new. I had to write about everything that I went through, every day for my first 2-3 months. I was green.
Child Djeneba: After 3 or 4 months of being in Mali, I had gained enough language skills to do more than just greet people. I got adopted by a new family. I had to make myself known on a professional-level with my shaky-Bambara and okay-French. I was like a fawn on new legs, so wobbly! But, I had no shame in my game, I was trying my best to adjust and it was made known vocally that I was appreciated by my co-workers. I was growing.
Moody-tween Djeneba: Around my 7th or 8th month, I was going through a lot emotionally. I blame most of on the anti-malarial medication that I was taking. However, I had been living in one-room for 6 months and feeling cramped by living with such a large family. I couldn't work on any projects, because I was focused on making me happy again. My mood would go up and down, there would be days when I would just stay in my room. I hated my host dad because he wouldn't, couldn't build my promised house. And at the same time, I was being bullied by female members in my family and having physical and mental health issues. I'd never felt so weak in my entire life, but it's in our weakest moments that we become strong.
Rebellious Djeneba: I think this started after I got back from Italy (month 10) and I first rocked my afro. I had been thinking about wearing a 'fro in village, I had been wearing half of it in a ponytail for awhile and was getting tired of it. But after women (just in my family) started calling me crazy for the way I wore my hair, and I had just got over a near-nervous breakdown, I decided to deny myself to express myself. I convinced myself that the reason I shouldn't wear my fro was so I wouldn't offend the culture. I didn't want it to interrupt my work. But, I knew I was lying to myself, I was actually vulnerable and couldn't take anymore criticism from my family.
And because I couldn't express myself with my hair, I started to lax on some of the Malian-cultural things I'd been trained to do. I started to lax on greetings (rude), took tea with guys at night (scandalous!), seperated myself from the family (suck it!). Isn't this experience supposed to be an exchange of ideas? I would only wear my 'fro outside of village, where I could be myself. I was hiding myself and this wasn't right.
A big thing about this culture is hiding who you are in the day time, and being your true self at night. Most people don't even greet at night! I just started not caring about doing things my family's way, because it didn't matter what I did, I was always going to be criticized. Then one day, I just said forget this! I've been taught to let my light shine! So, out of rebellion I decided to wear my 'fro.
Young woman Djeneba: Now, as a young woman, I feel a lot more confident in myself. I've gotten out under the claws of my family. After being here for more than a year, and seeing the way that other family's live, talking with women who love my individuality, I've realized that I can't listen to the crazy things the women in my family says anymore. They are the only one's who continue to rag on me, like they can change me and make me theirs, like they own me. They have no control over me, something that I've been forcing them to understand since the beginning. And as much as they would like me to be like them, they have to realize that that will never happen. I am not Malian. I am not Djeneba. I am Jade. They don't understand me well, this is partly my fault. So, now that I'm wiser, off crazy meds, gained a nice support network and have grown in so many other ways, I think it's time to teach them more about who I am.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Quote of the day:
"Djeneba, I dogoni taara wa? I ni Nana, aw be mogow kelen ye. Aw be fugurari." - Rokia (Host mom)
Translation: "Jade, your little sister left? You and Laurence are similar people. You're both lazy (women)."
Translation: "Jade, your little sister left? You and Laurence are similar people. You're both lazy (women)."
Goodbye Laurence
Having Laurence stay with my family was a good two-months of recuperation from my sister leaving. I couldn't have asked for a cooler person to hang out with! I really enjoyed her company and I'm sad to see her go. We had interesting conversations about our experience here and how we classify ourselves as Westerners. It's amazing how much we had in common, mainly based on where we come from, as obvious as that sounds. But, now I see why the Malians called Laurence my younger sister. I have way more in common with this white girl from Canada than them.
Best Laurence moments:
- Our dog, Dario, had some strange growths in his fur. They were these gross pus-looking filled boils stuck on either side of his neck! Laurence and I had goosebumps every time we saw them, but being the science geeks that we are, we had to find out what they were. So, we had a kid come and try to take one off. He did and Laurence went to get her gloves, being a med-student, and we examined the grayish-white sac. Turns out it was aninsect and Laurence and I took deep breaths of satisfaction of finally finding out what those things were.
- One evening, I was hungry and wanted to get some beans and cheke (ground casava). I asked Laurence along and asked if she wanted some, but she said she was hungry, but didn't want to get sick. I tried to console her that I had never gotten sick from eating a particular woman's food, but she couldn't chance it. Two-months later, this chick is out of money and always craving some beans and cheke haha!
- I think 50% of our conversations have been food related. We can go on for a good hour about food from home and how we can make our favorite Malian foods better.
- The time that we knew that a new Canadian guy was coming and Laurence had such high hopes that I would find my next boyfriend. She was so wrong and we were both very disappointed.
- Before she left, I gave her a Cafe-Rhum whiskey sachet as a going away present. That night, as we were walking to the bar to meet up with others, this girl ripped open her sachet and drank it right on the side of the road as crazy trucks whipped past us! Real classy like :)
I miss Laurence.
Best Laurence moments:
- Our dog, Dario, had some strange growths in his fur. They were these gross pus-looking filled boils stuck on either side of his neck! Laurence and I had goosebumps every time we saw them, but being the science geeks that we are, we had to find out what they were. So, we had a kid come and try to take one off. He did and Laurence went to get her gloves, being a med-student, and we examined the grayish-white sac. Turns out it was aninsect and Laurence and I took deep breaths of satisfaction of finally finding out what those things were.
- One evening, I was hungry and wanted to get some beans and cheke (ground casava). I asked Laurence along and asked if she wanted some, but she said she was hungry, but didn't want to get sick. I tried to console her that I had never gotten sick from eating a particular woman's food, but she couldn't chance it. Two-months later, this chick is out of money and always craving some beans and cheke haha!
- I think 50% of our conversations have been food related. We can go on for a good hour about food from home and how we can make our favorite Malian foods better.
- The time that we knew that a new Canadian guy was coming and Laurence had such high hopes that I would find my next boyfriend. She was so wrong and we were both very disappointed.
- Before she left, I gave her a Cafe-Rhum whiskey sachet as a going away present. That night, as we were walking to the bar to meet up with others, this girl ripped open her sachet and drank it right on the side of the road as crazy trucks whipped past us! Real classy like :)
I miss Laurence.
Praise report
I was recently diagnosed as anemic. The doctors said that my red blood cell count was really low. I had been feeling pretty lethargic lately and sleeping a lot more and didn't know why. They told me I needed to eat more red meat and take my vitamins.
Since then, I've been taking my vitamins daily and God has blessed me with an abundance of red meat lately! I mean a considerable amount to realize that this is too good to be true. For example, the other night, I had two meat kebabs, plus potatoes with meat and then they added more meat! Whenever I'm in a time of need, God is always there ABUNDANTLY!
Since then, I've been taking my vitamins daily and God has blessed me with an abundance of red meat lately! I mean a considerable amount to realize that this is too good to be true. For example, the other night, I had two meat kebabs, plus potatoes with meat and then they added more meat! Whenever I'm in a time of need, God is always there ABUNDANTLY!
Islam/Ramadan in Mali
This past weekend, I had an interesting discussion about how Malians practice Islam. Most Malians cannot read and don't know Arabic, so why are they so devout to a religion in a language they don't understand?
Every day, five times a day, men, women, and youth take 5-10 minutes to pray to allah in arabic. However no one understands what they are saying. I'm sure that some have translated the prayers into Bambara, but if you don't know the basis of these prayers and why you're saying them, wouldn't you want to know why?
This month was the month of Ramadan. Mostly everyone, but children and women who are breastfeeding, were fasting from sunrise to sunset for 30 days. Every day, someone asked me if I was fasting. I explained that I'm Christian, so I don't fast for Ramadan, but some people didn't understand that reasoning and thought that I should fast because everyone does. This mentality showed me that most people practice Islam mostly for show, to show that they are a "good Muslim." But, not just a good Muslim, but someone who is a team player.
I think that most people in this society like to be the same, equal, in support of their community. People rely on each other so much here. So much, that one must greet people and offer their food all the time. The reasoning behind this is that if everyone does this, then everyone will be taken care of and the community will be stronger. So, it's the same with religion. Mostly everyone in my town in Muslim, and I believe that it is so to keep the peace and homogeny. In this culture, homogeny is good.
Every day, five times a day, men, women, and youth take 5-10 minutes to pray to allah in arabic. However no one understands what they are saying. I'm sure that some have translated the prayers into Bambara, but if you don't know the basis of these prayers and why you're saying them, wouldn't you want to know why?
This month was the month of Ramadan. Mostly everyone, but children and women who are breastfeeding, were fasting from sunrise to sunset for 30 days. Every day, someone asked me if I was fasting. I explained that I'm Christian, so I don't fast for Ramadan, but some people didn't understand that reasoning and thought that I should fast because everyone does. This mentality showed me that most people practice Islam mostly for show, to show that they are a "good Muslim." But, not just a good Muslim, but someone who is a team player.
I think that most people in this society like to be the same, equal, in support of their community. People rely on each other so much here. So much, that one must greet people and offer their food all the time. The reasoning behind this is that if everyone does this, then everyone will be taken care of and the community will be stronger. So, it's the same with religion. Mostly everyone in my town in Muslim, and I believe that it is so to keep the peace and homogeny. In this culture, homogeny is good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)