Last night, Julie, me and Jasmine's adopted-big-sister, made a delicious Italian-dish with polenta. I had never tried polenta before, but as I watched it cooking, it reminded me of something I had eaten before in Mali: Kaba-toh!
Now granted, toh is overall disgusting for my taste, but kaba-toh is tolerable. It's pounded corn mix that's boiled and stirred into a thick porridge and left to congeal. And this is exactly what Julie made, but she made a sauce, not made out of leaves and dried fish, but a thick tomato, mushroom and leek based sauce with italian-sausage. Mmmmmm. It was so good, that I had to have seconds.
I can't wait to tell my family about "Italian-toh!"
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Day dreaming
So, I have this AMAZING vacation lined-up in about 2-weeks. Before I went to Segou and Sikasso, I had been starting to feel really antsy. And I don't know why, but here in Mali, I seem to let my emotions take over more and I look out for myself a lot more too. Maybe it's a survival instincts, lack of hugs and wireless internet, outburst. Anyway, I was beginning to feel antsy and could not imagine how I would make it through the next 3-weeks before my trip, so I had to take a vacation before my vacation, you see?
Anyway, my trip is going to be amazing. It's basically the trip of a lifetime. I used to day-dream about America, conversations I wish that I could have back home, being a hot new guitarist/singer solo act, the boy who won't be mine, what I'm going to do after Mali, but now my mind is focused on one thing: ParisLyonMarseilleCairoDubai, all one word.
I'm about to go from hot to cold, to warm, to hot, to hotter, back to cold and then back to hot. Ahhhhhh!
Anyway, my trip is going to be amazing. It's basically the trip of a lifetime. I used to day-dream about America, conversations I wish that I could have back home, being a hot new guitarist/singer solo act, the boy who won't be mine, what I'm going to do after Mali, but now my mind is focused on one thing: ParisLyonMarseilleCairoDubai, all one word.
I'm about to go from hot to cold, to warm, to hot, to hotter, back to cold and then back to hot. Ahhhhhh!
Segou-Magic
I've now been to Segou twice. The first time was when Jasmine was here. We took a trip with my friends to Dogon Country and took lunch in Segou while passing through. From that 2-hour stop, I knew that Segou would be a place that I would have to visit again. So, when my friends, Krystal and Dani, decided to celebrate their birthdays there, I had to go!
Segou is one of the cleanest, most chill river-town I have ever been to, in Mali. When I'm there, it's like taking in a nice gulp of fresh air. It has everything that Bamako has, except it's smaller, cleaner, neater and more quiet. There are nice hotels, nice places to shop, delicious food, boat rides, nice trees for shade as you walk along the streets, and an awesome bogolan (mud cloth) factory/shop. Honestly, Segou reminds me of small-town America, except Malian-style. Love it! And I can't wait to go back in February for the international music festival!
Segou is one of the cleanest, most chill river-town I have ever been to, in Mali. When I'm there, it's like taking in a nice gulp of fresh air. It has everything that Bamako has, except it's smaller, cleaner, neater and more quiet. There are nice hotels, nice places to shop, delicious food, boat rides, nice trees for shade as you walk along the streets, and an awesome bogolan (mud cloth) factory/shop. Honestly, Segou reminds me of small-town America, except Malian-style. Love it! And I can't wait to go back in February for the international music festival!
"Not all white people play beer pong at Thanksgiving" (T-Day Peace Corps-style)
Last year, for Thanksgiving, I had a lovely evening dining with the Ambassador. The atmosphere was perfect. There were red and green draped tables with paper turkeys and the food was good. But, this year, I spent Thanksgiving in Sikasso (another region in Mali).
The dinner itself was surprisingly good! There were eight turkeys, stuffing, mashed potatoes, greenbeans, fruit salad, pumpkin and apple pies, and then when everyone was done eating, the beer pong table was set up!
It was weird enough eating dinner inside of an auditorium and having Malian children staring at us, but beer pong just stripped away any sense that this was Thanksgiving. However, this occurrence brought up something that Jasmine and I have always found strange.
Back in college (wow, so long ago now!), whenever it was football Saturday's, there were always pre-game parties on almost every lawn in Ann Arbor. And when we walked along the streets, we would see families playing beer drinking games together. We would see grandpa's and grandson's throwing hackey-sacks and slugging back red cups of beer and this weirded Jasmine and I out. Like, we could never imagine drinking with our grandparents, let alone on wholesome holiday like Thanksgiving!
So, I just had to know, even if it was a stupid question, but I asked some of my white friends if this is what they do back at home? Thankfully, they all said no. And then, we all went around and said what we're thankful for, which is something my family does. With that, some of that Thanksgiving-spirit was salvaged. But, then later, we went to the club hahaha!
The dinner itself was surprisingly good! There were eight turkeys, stuffing, mashed potatoes, greenbeans, fruit salad, pumpkin and apple pies, and then when everyone was done eating, the beer pong table was set up!
It was weird enough eating dinner inside of an auditorium and having Malian children staring at us, but beer pong just stripped away any sense that this was Thanksgiving. However, this occurrence brought up something that Jasmine and I have always found strange.
Back in college (wow, so long ago now!), whenever it was football Saturday's, there were always pre-game parties on almost every lawn in Ann Arbor. And when we walked along the streets, we would see families playing beer drinking games together. We would see grandpa's and grandson's throwing hackey-sacks and slugging back red cups of beer and this weirded Jasmine and I out. Like, we could never imagine drinking with our grandparents, let alone on wholesome holiday like Thanksgiving!
So, I just had to know, even if it was a stupid question, but I asked some of my white friends if this is what they do back at home? Thankfully, they all said no. And then, we all went around and said what we're thankful for, which is something my family does. With that, some of that Thanksgiving-spirit was salvaged. But, then later, we went to the club hahaha!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Dirtiest moment of my life!
The other weekend I was invited to visit my friend, Abdoulaye's home in Bamako. We've been friends for about a year now and he's helped me with my projects and I've assisted him in his English class. So, I was really excited to go visit him and his wife.
I around at his house around 12:30 and had planned to stay for lunch and leave in the evening, but he and his wife invited me to stay the night. I thought about saying my good-bye's, but then decided to stay and this is what led to the dirtiest moment of my life!
My friend is a teacher, and like all teachers, he is not rich, and his place showed that. It was a 2-room apartment in a grimy, crowded apartment complex. There was electricity, running water, but no plumbing system. It was like being in village, but on a much, much smaller scale, which is what made it so dirty. If someone is building an apartment complex with a community bathroom, I would think that to keep disease and all other grossness from forming, one would think that more than two toilets and two showers are needed.
When night time came, my friend's wife asked me if I wanted to bathe. To keep myself from saying that I wouldn't dare bathe there, I shamelessly said that I only bathe once a day and had done so that morning, luckily. Then as night came, I noticed that everyone wanted to bathe at the same time. And the place where people bathed, also served as a "pee-only" toilet. So, no thank you. But, as the night went on, I had to pee really, really bad.
So, I made my way to the toilet. I tried the shower/toilet, but there was a ton of sitting water after bath time. So I was left with the latrine. At this point, I hated my bladder, I really had to go. So, as I tippy-toed in, I saw the biggest spiders I've ever seen! I gripped to the side of the wall, but then I saw an albino cockroach (way better than seeing red ones)! I thought about making my retreat, but I wasn't going to make it through the night. So, I stepped on the pedastal and glanced down the latrine. And there, staring back at me was a rat! A RAT! The rat saw me! And I saw it, eating the pile of fecal matter that was left by the lady who went right before me. I grimaced and closed my eyes and relieved myself. I looked down once again, and the rat was gone, but OH MY GOSH! I couldn't decide whether to burst out laughing or crying out of disgust. I decided to laugh, and it was really funny, but that was the most disgusting moment of my life.
I around at his house around 12:30 and had planned to stay for lunch and leave in the evening, but he and his wife invited me to stay the night. I thought about saying my good-bye's, but then decided to stay and this is what led to the dirtiest moment of my life!
My friend is a teacher, and like all teachers, he is not rich, and his place showed that. It was a 2-room apartment in a grimy, crowded apartment complex. There was electricity, running water, but no plumbing system. It was like being in village, but on a much, much smaller scale, which is what made it so dirty. If someone is building an apartment complex with a community bathroom, I would think that to keep disease and all other grossness from forming, one would think that more than two toilets and two showers are needed.
When night time came, my friend's wife asked me if I wanted to bathe. To keep myself from saying that I wouldn't dare bathe there, I shamelessly said that I only bathe once a day and had done so that morning, luckily. Then as night came, I noticed that everyone wanted to bathe at the same time. And the place where people bathed, also served as a "pee-only" toilet. So, no thank you. But, as the night went on, I had to pee really, really bad.
So, I made my way to the toilet. I tried the shower/toilet, but there was a ton of sitting water after bath time. So I was left with the latrine. At this point, I hated my bladder, I really had to go. So, as I tippy-toed in, I saw the biggest spiders I've ever seen! I gripped to the side of the wall, but then I saw an albino cockroach (way better than seeing red ones)! I thought about making my retreat, but I wasn't going to make it through the night. So, I stepped on the pedastal and glanced down the latrine. And there, staring back at me was a rat! A RAT! The rat saw me! And I saw it, eating the pile of fecal matter that was left by the lady who went right before me. I grimaced and closed my eyes and relieved myself. I looked down once again, and the rat was gone, but OH MY GOSH! I couldn't decide whether to burst out laughing or crying out of disgust. I decided to laugh, and it was really funny, but that was the most disgusting moment of my life.
The past few weeks.....
It has been a very long time since I've written in here. I've been busy! My schedule is perfect not too packed. I work in the high school and middle school in the mornings, at noon, I take my lunch break and the afternoons are left free, except for Thursdays when I have my Life Skills course. And lately, I've been feeling really restless as my AMAZING vacation is coming up, so I've been spending time (and money) in Bamako every weekend. But, it's cool.
Anyway, to give a little glimpse of what I've actually been doing, I'll explain my role in the classroom. I never imagined myself teaching, but here I am, teaching and it's kind of thrilling, oddly. I'm teaching a subject that I sorta know, English. I'm not gonna lie, my English is not perfect, but I can do a better job teaching than most of these teachers. And it's thrilling to be in front of the classroom and holding the power to mold theses young minds (mwhahaha!). I also find my creative-juices flowing, trying to come up with ways of making English fun, and this challenges me. So, I'm enjoying myself inside the classroom.
As for my Life-Skills course, this has been my greatest challenge so far. I'm teaching fifteen 7th and 8th grade girls once a week for a 1-hr course, in Bambara! When I was preparing for my first day of class, I had prepared everything in French. I figured, at this age, they have all of their courses in French, so I should be okay. But, just in case, I had my lesson-plan translated partially in Bambara. So, when I got to the classroom, I tested the girls French by asking them for the day's date, that's when I knew I had a problem. Only one or two girls responded! I got nervouse, started sweating as I had to think quickly on my feet. I then wish that I had translated everything into Bambara, but I managed okay. For the next sessions, I knew that I would have to find a translator, and I did! So, now the sessions have been going a lot smoother and I know that the girls understand each lesson.
Aside from working in the classroom, I'm preparing to motivate other schools to participate in a bigger and better "Career Day" event. I would like to have those preparing to go to high school to participate as well. The only problem with having more people, is the costs. So, I hope that others are willing to contribute.
Anyway, to give a little glimpse of what I've actually been doing, I'll explain my role in the classroom. I never imagined myself teaching, but here I am, teaching and it's kind of thrilling, oddly. I'm teaching a subject that I sorta know, English. I'm not gonna lie, my English is not perfect, but I can do a better job teaching than most of these teachers. And it's thrilling to be in front of the classroom and holding the power to mold theses young minds (mwhahaha!). I also find my creative-juices flowing, trying to come up with ways of making English fun, and this challenges me. So, I'm enjoying myself inside the classroom.
As for my Life-Skills course, this has been my greatest challenge so far. I'm teaching fifteen 7th and 8th grade girls once a week for a 1-hr course, in Bambara! When I was preparing for my first day of class, I had prepared everything in French. I figured, at this age, they have all of their courses in French, so I should be okay. But, just in case, I had my lesson-plan translated partially in Bambara. So, when I got to the classroom, I tested the girls French by asking them for the day's date, that's when I knew I had a problem. Only one or two girls responded! I got nervouse, started sweating as I had to think quickly on my feet. I then wish that I had translated everything into Bambara, but I managed okay. For the next sessions, I knew that I would have to find a translator, and I did! So, now the sessions have been going a lot smoother and I know that the girls understand each lesson.
Aside from working in the classroom, I'm preparing to motivate other schools to participate in a bigger and better "Career Day" event. I would like to have those preparing to go to high school to participate as well. The only problem with having more people, is the costs. So, I hope that others are willing to contribute.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
The Alchemist mirroring my life
Today, I finished reading The Alchemist for the second time. I rarely read a book twice, but this book is pretty special, because it has a lot of words of wisdom in it. It speaks about matters of the heart. A boy learns to trust his heart and his heart learns to trust him through various ventures, and by working together, they accomplish the boy's "Personal Legend." To do this, it took a lot of courage, a lot was lost, but more was gained.
Through his journey, he learned to speak Arabic, the Language of the World, learned the art of business, found love and God. This tale mirrors my life in Mali in many ways. And as much as I liked the book, it also made me sad to think about the things that my heart has said, but I didn't follow through.
It's true what they say, that as we get older, our dreams die. Only a lucky few of us can still dream when we're older. I wanted to be a singer, basketball player, tennis champion, and a doctor, but all of these dreams died because I hit a road block somewhere and stopped believing. But, every once in awhile, my heart still talks about being a doctor and it causes sadness. I think this is the biggest reason why I decided to join PC. I couldn't live the rest of my life thinking of "what if?" I knew that I had to listen to my heart and take a leap of faith or else I'd regret it. I don't know if this is my Personal Legend, but I won't give up searching for it because, when one does look for it, all the universe conspires to help you.
Through his journey, he learned to speak Arabic, the Language of the World, learned the art of business, found love and God. This tale mirrors my life in Mali in many ways. And as much as I liked the book, it also made me sad to think about the things that my heart has said, but I didn't follow through.
It's true what they say, that as we get older, our dreams die. Only a lucky few of us can still dream when we're older. I wanted to be a singer, basketball player, tennis champion, and a doctor, but all of these dreams died because I hit a road block somewhere and stopped believing. But, every once in awhile, my heart still talks about being a doctor and it causes sadness. I think this is the biggest reason why I decided to join PC. I couldn't live the rest of my life thinking of "what if?" I knew that I had to listen to my heart and take a leap of faith or else I'd regret it. I don't know if this is my Personal Legend, but I won't give up searching for it because, when one does look for it, all the universe conspires to help you.
A new school year!
With me renewing my attitude about my relationships, I'm renewing my attitude about work. It's hard working in education because there are so many "lows" and very little "highs." You can get very unmotivated, but I've decided to get over myself and get inside the classroom and teach Life Skills.
I guess I was just waiting for the right material, because I'm interested in teaching this course. Although I'm kind of nervous about teaching in Bambara, I'm also excited! It's difficult to find one's niche in a foreign environment, but I think I've found mine: I'm an advocate for youth and social development. Finally, I see my degree in Biopsychology being put to use!
I guess I was just waiting for the right material, because I'm interested in teaching this course. Although I'm kind of nervous about teaching in Bambara, I'm also excited! It's difficult to find one's niche in a foreign environment, but I think I've found mine: I'm an advocate for youth and social development. Finally, I see my degree in Biopsychology being put to use!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Growing up as Djeneba:
When I came here, I had to go through a birthing process. I actually feel as if I've been a baby, child, a moody tween, a rebellious teenager and now I'm a young woman. I'll explain by going into further detail about each stage:
Baby Djeneba: born on July 4th, 2010, adopted by Djeneba Sidibe and the Dugutigi of my training village. I had no language skills, I could barely remember how to say hi in Bambara, so I mostly spoke in French. I burned my hand and tongue trying to eat Malian-dishes. I got sick all the time as my immune system got used to new bacterial diseases. I was wide-eyed and everything was brand new. I had to write about everything that I went through, every day for my first 2-3 months. I was green.
Child Djeneba: After 3 or 4 months of being in Mali, I had gained enough language skills to do more than just greet people. I got adopted by a new family. I had to make myself known on a professional-level with my shaky-Bambara and okay-French. I was like a fawn on new legs, so wobbly! But, I had no shame in my game, I was trying my best to adjust and it was made known vocally that I was appreciated by my co-workers. I was growing.
Moody-tween Djeneba: Around my 7th or 8th month, I was going through a lot emotionally. I blame most of on the anti-malarial medication that I was taking. However, I had been living in one-room for 6 months and feeling cramped by living with such a large family. I couldn't work on any projects, because I was focused on making me happy again. My mood would go up and down, there would be days when I would just stay in my room. I hated my host dad because he wouldn't, couldn't build my promised house. And at the same time, I was being bullied by female members in my family and having physical and mental health issues. I'd never felt so weak in my entire life, but it's in our weakest moments that we become strong.
Rebellious Djeneba: I think this started after I got back from Italy (month 10) and I first rocked my afro. I had been thinking about wearing a 'fro in village, I had been wearing half of it in a ponytail for awhile and was getting tired of it. But after women (just in my family) started calling me crazy for the way I wore my hair, and I had just got over a near-nervous breakdown, I decided to deny myself to express myself. I convinced myself that the reason I shouldn't wear my fro was so I wouldn't offend the culture. I didn't want it to interrupt my work. But, I knew I was lying to myself, I was actually vulnerable and couldn't take anymore criticism from my family.
And because I couldn't express myself with my hair, I started to lax on some of the Malian-cultural things I'd been trained to do. I started to lax on greetings (rude), took tea with guys at night (scandalous!), seperated myself from the family (suck it!). Isn't this experience supposed to be an exchange of ideas? I would only wear my 'fro outside of village, where I could be myself. I was hiding myself and this wasn't right.
A big thing about this culture is hiding who you are in the day time, and being your true self at night. Most people don't even greet at night! I just started not caring about doing things my family's way, because it didn't matter what I did, I was always going to be criticized. Then one day, I just said forget this! I've been taught to let my light shine! So, out of rebellion I decided to wear my 'fro.
Young woman Djeneba: Now, as a young woman, I feel a lot more confident in myself. I've gotten out under the claws of my family. After being here for more than a year, and seeing the way that other family's live, talking with women who love my individuality, I've realized that I can't listen to the crazy things the women in my family says anymore. They are the only one's who continue to rag on me, like they can change me and make me theirs, like they own me. They have no control over me, something that I've been forcing them to understand since the beginning. And as much as they would like me to be like them, they have to realize that that will never happen. I am not Malian. I am not Djeneba. I am Jade. They don't understand me well, this is partly my fault. So, now that I'm wiser, off crazy meds, gained a nice support network and have grown in so many other ways, I think it's time to teach them more about who I am.
Baby Djeneba: born on July 4th, 2010, adopted by Djeneba Sidibe and the Dugutigi of my training village. I had no language skills, I could barely remember how to say hi in Bambara, so I mostly spoke in French. I burned my hand and tongue trying to eat Malian-dishes. I got sick all the time as my immune system got used to new bacterial diseases. I was wide-eyed and everything was brand new. I had to write about everything that I went through, every day for my first 2-3 months. I was green.
Child Djeneba: After 3 or 4 months of being in Mali, I had gained enough language skills to do more than just greet people. I got adopted by a new family. I had to make myself known on a professional-level with my shaky-Bambara and okay-French. I was like a fawn on new legs, so wobbly! But, I had no shame in my game, I was trying my best to adjust and it was made known vocally that I was appreciated by my co-workers. I was growing.
Moody-tween Djeneba: Around my 7th or 8th month, I was going through a lot emotionally. I blame most of on the anti-malarial medication that I was taking. However, I had been living in one-room for 6 months and feeling cramped by living with such a large family. I couldn't work on any projects, because I was focused on making me happy again. My mood would go up and down, there would be days when I would just stay in my room. I hated my host dad because he wouldn't, couldn't build my promised house. And at the same time, I was being bullied by female members in my family and having physical and mental health issues. I'd never felt so weak in my entire life, but it's in our weakest moments that we become strong.
Rebellious Djeneba: I think this started after I got back from Italy (month 10) and I first rocked my afro. I had been thinking about wearing a 'fro in village, I had been wearing half of it in a ponytail for awhile and was getting tired of it. But after women (just in my family) started calling me crazy for the way I wore my hair, and I had just got over a near-nervous breakdown, I decided to deny myself to express myself. I convinced myself that the reason I shouldn't wear my fro was so I wouldn't offend the culture. I didn't want it to interrupt my work. But, I knew I was lying to myself, I was actually vulnerable and couldn't take anymore criticism from my family.
And because I couldn't express myself with my hair, I started to lax on some of the Malian-cultural things I'd been trained to do. I started to lax on greetings (rude), took tea with guys at night (scandalous!), seperated myself from the family (suck it!). Isn't this experience supposed to be an exchange of ideas? I would only wear my 'fro outside of village, where I could be myself. I was hiding myself and this wasn't right.
A big thing about this culture is hiding who you are in the day time, and being your true self at night. Most people don't even greet at night! I just started not caring about doing things my family's way, because it didn't matter what I did, I was always going to be criticized. Then one day, I just said forget this! I've been taught to let my light shine! So, out of rebellion I decided to wear my 'fro.
Young woman Djeneba: Now, as a young woman, I feel a lot more confident in myself. I've gotten out under the claws of my family. After being here for more than a year, and seeing the way that other family's live, talking with women who love my individuality, I've realized that I can't listen to the crazy things the women in my family says anymore. They are the only one's who continue to rag on me, like they can change me and make me theirs, like they own me. They have no control over me, something that I've been forcing them to understand since the beginning. And as much as they would like me to be like them, they have to realize that that will never happen. I am not Malian. I am not Djeneba. I am Jade. They don't understand me well, this is partly my fault. So, now that I'm wiser, off crazy meds, gained a nice support network and have grown in so many other ways, I think it's time to teach them more about who I am.
Quote of the day:
"Djeneba, I dogoni taara wa? I ni Nana, aw be mogow kelen ye. Aw be fugurari." - Rokia (Host mom)
Translation: "Jade, your little sister left? You and Laurence are similar people. You're both lazy (women)."
Translation: "Jade, your little sister left? You and Laurence are similar people. You're both lazy (women)."
Goodbye Laurence
Having Laurence stay with my family was a good two-months of recuperation from my sister leaving. I couldn't have asked for a cooler person to hang out with! I really enjoyed her company and I'm sad to see her go. We had interesting conversations about our experience here and how we classify ourselves as Westerners. It's amazing how much we had in common, mainly based on where we come from, as obvious as that sounds. But, now I see why the Malians called Laurence my younger sister. I have way more in common with this white girl from Canada than them.
Best Laurence moments:
- Our dog, Dario, had some strange growths in his fur. They were these gross pus-looking filled boils stuck on either side of his neck! Laurence and I had goosebumps every time we saw them, but being the science geeks that we are, we had to find out what they were. So, we had a kid come and try to take one off. He did and Laurence went to get her gloves, being a med-student, and we examined the grayish-white sac. Turns out it was aninsect and Laurence and I took deep breaths of satisfaction of finally finding out what those things were.
- One evening, I was hungry and wanted to get some beans and cheke (ground casava). I asked Laurence along and asked if she wanted some, but she said she was hungry, but didn't want to get sick. I tried to console her that I had never gotten sick from eating a particular woman's food, but she couldn't chance it. Two-months later, this chick is out of money and always craving some beans and cheke haha!
- I think 50% of our conversations have been food related. We can go on for a good hour about food from home and how we can make our favorite Malian foods better.
- The time that we knew that a new Canadian guy was coming and Laurence had such high hopes that I would find my next boyfriend. She was so wrong and we were both very disappointed.
- Before she left, I gave her a Cafe-Rhum whiskey sachet as a going away present. That night, as we were walking to the bar to meet up with others, this girl ripped open her sachet and drank it right on the side of the road as crazy trucks whipped past us! Real classy like :)
I miss Laurence.
Best Laurence moments:
- Our dog, Dario, had some strange growths in his fur. They were these gross pus-looking filled boils stuck on either side of his neck! Laurence and I had goosebumps every time we saw them, but being the science geeks that we are, we had to find out what they were. So, we had a kid come and try to take one off. He did and Laurence went to get her gloves, being a med-student, and we examined the grayish-white sac. Turns out it was aninsect and Laurence and I took deep breaths of satisfaction of finally finding out what those things were.
- One evening, I was hungry and wanted to get some beans and cheke (ground casava). I asked Laurence along and asked if she wanted some, but she said she was hungry, but didn't want to get sick. I tried to console her that I had never gotten sick from eating a particular woman's food, but she couldn't chance it. Two-months later, this chick is out of money and always craving some beans and cheke haha!
- I think 50% of our conversations have been food related. We can go on for a good hour about food from home and how we can make our favorite Malian foods better.
- The time that we knew that a new Canadian guy was coming and Laurence had such high hopes that I would find my next boyfriend. She was so wrong and we were both very disappointed.
- Before she left, I gave her a Cafe-Rhum whiskey sachet as a going away present. That night, as we were walking to the bar to meet up with others, this girl ripped open her sachet and drank it right on the side of the road as crazy trucks whipped past us! Real classy like :)
I miss Laurence.
Praise report
I was recently diagnosed as anemic. The doctors said that my red blood cell count was really low. I had been feeling pretty lethargic lately and sleeping a lot more and didn't know why. They told me I needed to eat more red meat and take my vitamins.
Since then, I've been taking my vitamins daily and God has blessed me with an abundance of red meat lately! I mean a considerable amount to realize that this is too good to be true. For example, the other night, I had two meat kebabs, plus potatoes with meat and then they added more meat! Whenever I'm in a time of need, God is always there ABUNDANTLY!
Since then, I've been taking my vitamins daily and God has blessed me with an abundance of red meat lately! I mean a considerable amount to realize that this is too good to be true. For example, the other night, I had two meat kebabs, plus potatoes with meat and then they added more meat! Whenever I'm in a time of need, God is always there ABUNDANTLY!
Islam/Ramadan in Mali
This past weekend, I had an interesting discussion about how Malians practice Islam. Most Malians cannot read and don't know Arabic, so why are they so devout to a religion in a language they don't understand?
Every day, five times a day, men, women, and youth take 5-10 minutes to pray to allah in arabic. However no one understands what they are saying. I'm sure that some have translated the prayers into Bambara, but if you don't know the basis of these prayers and why you're saying them, wouldn't you want to know why?
This month was the month of Ramadan. Mostly everyone, but children and women who are breastfeeding, were fasting from sunrise to sunset for 30 days. Every day, someone asked me if I was fasting. I explained that I'm Christian, so I don't fast for Ramadan, but some people didn't understand that reasoning and thought that I should fast because everyone does. This mentality showed me that most people practice Islam mostly for show, to show that they are a "good Muslim." But, not just a good Muslim, but someone who is a team player.
I think that most people in this society like to be the same, equal, in support of their community. People rely on each other so much here. So much, that one must greet people and offer their food all the time. The reasoning behind this is that if everyone does this, then everyone will be taken care of and the community will be stronger. So, it's the same with religion. Mostly everyone in my town in Muslim, and I believe that it is so to keep the peace and homogeny. In this culture, homogeny is good.
Every day, five times a day, men, women, and youth take 5-10 minutes to pray to allah in arabic. However no one understands what they are saying. I'm sure that some have translated the prayers into Bambara, but if you don't know the basis of these prayers and why you're saying them, wouldn't you want to know why?
This month was the month of Ramadan. Mostly everyone, but children and women who are breastfeeding, were fasting from sunrise to sunset for 30 days. Every day, someone asked me if I was fasting. I explained that I'm Christian, so I don't fast for Ramadan, but some people didn't understand that reasoning and thought that I should fast because everyone does. This mentality showed me that most people practice Islam mostly for show, to show that they are a "good Muslim." But, not just a good Muslim, but someone who is a team player.
I think that most people in this society like to be the same, equal, in support of their community. People rely on each other so much here. So much, that one must greet people and offer their food all the time. The reasoning behind this is that if everyone does this, then everyone will be taken care of and the community will be stronger. So, it's the same with religion. Mostly everyone in my town in Muslim, and I believe that it is so to keep the peace and homogeny. In this culture, homogeny is good.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Where is the love for being black in Africa?
As I aforementioned, I had a fear of wearing my hair in a fro due to receiving criticism. In the beginning of this venture, I wrote about how the Malian women perceived my looks. They observed my skin and how it's browned over the past year and they've seen me experimenting with my hair as my perm has been growing out. And I mentioned that I would like to help change their perception of beauty, to help them see the natural beauty that is God-given. So, I finally got over my fear of what people might say, and I took a chance and wore my afro in village and I felt so bare and free! Like, this is me.
Now, I feel much more confident with my new 'do. I've gotten mixed responses, as expected, and mostly it's my family who's still hating on my hair! My family tells me that people are gonna call me crazy and all the babies will cry when they see me. However, none of that has happened. I've actually had people coming up to me commenting that they like it, both men and women. Some of them actually use the word "beautiful" to describe it and wondering if it's weave or chemicalised. I've also had those come up and tell me to cut it. I admit, a little trim is needed, but I'm so happy to know that some people do view black hair as beautiful.
I've seen wayyyyy too many broken, receeding hair-lines due to using straightening chemicals. Recently, my host sister had to cut all of her hair off because it was all dry and brittle. But even after she had to cut it, she still rubs perm in her hair! After seeing what she had to do because of this, I decided enough was enough. These women have been telling me EVERYDAY to do what they do to their hair, and look at the result! DEAD HAIR.
While Jasmine was here, we discussed this issue with hair and we realized that it was African Americans who discovered how to "tame" the roots of black hair. An AA women invented the pressing comb and other products for women to straighten their hair. Then, an AA man invented "perm" to straighten black hair chemically. It was AA who brought this stuff to the world, but now AA women are starting to stop using these tools and learning how to coiffure their natural roots. Wearing one's hair natural is a revolution in America, but straightening one's hair and other junk is just getting started in Africa.
Where is the love for being black in Africa?
Now, I feel much more confident with my new 'do. I've gotten mixed responses, as expected, and mostly it's my family who's still hating on my hair! My family tells me that people are gonna call me crazy and all the babies will cry when they see me. However, none of that has happened. I've actually had people coming up to me commenting that they like it, both men and women. Some of them actually use the word "beautiful" to describe it and wondering if it's weave or chemicalised. I've also had those come up and tell me to cut it. I admit, a little trim is needed, but I'm so happy to know that some people do view black hair as beautiful.
I've seen wayyyyy too many broken, receeding hair-lines due to using straightening chemicals. Recently, my host sister had to cut all of her hair off because it was all dry and brittle. But even after she had to cut it, she still rubs perm in her hair! After seeing what she had to do because of this, I decided enough was enough. These women have been telling me EVERYDAY to do what they do to their hair, and look at the result! DEAD HAIR.
While Jasmine was here, we discussed this issue with hair and we realized that it was African Americans who discovered how to "tame" the roots of black hair. An AA women invented the pressing comb and other products for women to straighten their hair. Then, an AA man invented "perm" to straighten black hair chemically. It was AA who brought this stuff to the world, but now AA women are starting to stop using these tools and learning how to coiffure their natural roots. Wearing one's hair natural is a revolution in America, but straightening one's hair and other junk is just getting started in Africa.
Where is the love for being black in Africa?
Neem Cream! You scream! We all scream for neem cream!
So, after many set backs with scheduling, I finally hosted my neem cream formation! I found the courage to ask the doctor, who screwed me over in my Career Day project, if me and the Canadian intern, Laurence, could host a training on neem cream at the health center. She said yes, and I got to work.
Neem cream is a natural mosquito repellent that is cheap and works really well. It's made from neem leaves, which happen to be plentiful here (thanks to God), soap, water and shea butter, which is also plentiful! On a side note, this land has so many natural resources to cure the many ailments that they have, it makes me wonder, if they started asking the right God for help, they'd realize how blessed they are. Anyway, I found myself working with the Shea Co-op to help me make the cream and it was a lot of fun.
By working with the Co-op I learned so much about the makings of shea butter and soap and I learned a lot of new Bambara words as well. And for helping me make the neem cream, I gave them jars of it to use at home and they said that it works really well. So, maybe they might look into producing it themselves! So, after getting confirmation that it really works, me and Laurence presented info on malaria and how people can protect themselves from it and it went really well.
Now onto my next summer project, creating "tippy taps," also known as, handwashing stations.
Neem cream is a natural mosquito repellent that is cheap and works really well. It's made from neem leaves, which happen to be plentiful here (thanks to God), soap, water and shea butter, which is also plentiful! On a side note, this land has so many natural resources to cure the many ailments that they have, it makes me wonder, if they started asking the right God for help, they'd realize how blessed they are. Anyway, I found myself working with the Shea Co-op to help me make the cream and it was a lot of fun.
By working with the Co-op I learned so much about the makings of shea butter and soap and I learned a lot of new Bambara words as well. And for helping me make the neem cream, I gave them jars of it to use at home and they said that it works really well. So, maybe they might look into producing it themselves! So, after getting confirmation that it really works, me and Laurence presented info on malaria and how people can protect themselves from it and it went really well.
Now onto my next summer project, creating "tippy taps," also known as, handwashing stations.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Friends
As I had said before, it's hard to make Malian girlfriends of my age here and that's something that I miss having. Not to say that I don't have other girlfriends from PC and other NGOs, but it would be nice to have a Malian one, who isn't a guy.
Lately Adam has been getting on my last nerve! I have no idea what I've done or said but it's gotten to the point where I can say that she is not my friend. I'mma try to repair this, but dang. Girls be tripping HARD.
Lately Adam has been getting on my last nerve! I have no idea what I've done or said but it's gotten to the point where I can say that she is not my friend. I'mma try to repair this, but dang. Girls be tripping HARD.
Low-Points
There are many things that I judge as disgusting in Malian-culture: eating with one's hands, blowing one's nose without tissue, cleaning babies poop with one's hand, leaving food uncovered for flies and chickens to get into. These are all things that I thought I'd never do. I have eaten with my hands, blown my nose without tissue, peed in a bucket and pooped into a bag! But, these have all been done out of necessity, when there were no other means (I say this to make myself feel better haha!)
There are just so many things that you will do, when it's about survival. No, no one was holding a knife to my neck to make me do these things, but it's hard in these streets. I never realized how AWESOME an indoor toilet is! There have been many times when I wake up at 2-3 o'clock in the morning with the strongest urge to gooooo. But, outside is scary. My concession doesn't have a gate and I have gone out and seen stray dogs, donkeys and people walking around at this hour. Do I feel safe to go? No, not really. So, I look at my bucket as my hero at this point. It seriously might have saved my life a few times! Especially with recent burgularies in village, I feel I'm doing what's best (This is me trying to make myself feel even better.)
Just thinking about all the stuff I've seen and experienced in this past year, there is no match for it in my life in America. I mean, maybe other PCVs had gone through these same situations before coming here if they'd been camping. But, I had lived a pretty posh life before this. I just can't believe it sometimes, the things I have to do to live here.
There are just so many things that you will do, when it's about survival. No, no one was holding a knife to my neck to make me do these things, but it's hard in these streets. I never realized how AWESOME an indoor toilet is! There have been many times when I wake up at 2-3 o'clock in the morning with the strongest urge to gooooo. But, outside is scary. My concession doesn't have a gate and I have gone out and seen stray dogs, donkeys and people walking around at this hour. Do I feel safe to go? No, not really. So, I look at my bucket as my hero at this point. It seriously might have saved my life a few times! Especially with recent burgularies in village, I feel I'm doing what's best (This is me trying to make myself feel even better.)
Just thinking about all the stuff I've seen and experienced in this past year, there is no match for it in my life in America. I mean, maybe other PCVs had gone through these same situations before coming here if they'd been camping. But, I had lived a pretty posh life before this. I just can't believe it sometimes, the things I have to do to live here.
White girls and Aliens
As soon as my sister left, a Canadian girl, named Laurence, came to work at the health center and live in my family's concession! I could only count this as a blessing because I knew that it would be hard for me to readjust once Jasmine left. And so far, things have been good. She's living in my old room and I allowed her to use my nyegen. I thought that her using my nyegen would cause a fuss, but after talking to everyone possible about it, there hasn't been any stink.
I was also wondering if she might be treated differently or she would disrupt what I've got going on here, but that hasn't happened either. Things haven't changed for better or worse. However, what's funny is that my family has pinned the two of us together. We eat lunch and dinner together and sit and chat at night, which is only natural since we both prefer not to eat toh and speak the same language. But, what's really funny is that people have been asking me if this girl is my younger sister! I don't get it. I'm black, she's white. I'm American, she's Canadian. So, where's the logic in that?
Actually, today, some people came over and asked if we were sisters. Yacouba explains that we're not, not because we don't look anything alike, but because we're not from the same country! Laurence and I just laugh at this reasoning.
Oh, and today someone asked us if we "white women" have menstrual cycles! Like, not only do we not look African, but we're also assumed to have totally different organs and stuff because of how we look! And me and Laurence look nothing alike! That was a real revelation to me. It's like, we're another species to them and that just brings up a whole other topic, like something along the lines of Darwinism. I bet that if I gave them a book on Darwinism, they would totally believe themselves to be lesser humans. Anyway, I digress, the point is I'm still find it interesting that my identity is totally different here.
I was also wondering if she might be treated differently or she would disrupt what I've got going on here, but that hasn't happened either. Things haven't changed for better or worse. However, what's funny is that my family has pinned the two of us together. We eat lunch and dinner together and sit and chat at night, which is only natural since we both prefer not to eat toh and speak the same language. But, what's really funny is that people have been asking me if this girl is my younger sister! I don't get it. I'm black, she's white. I'm American, she's Canadian. So, where's the logic in that?
Actually, today, some people came over and asked if we were sisters. Yacouba explains that we're not, not because we don't look anything alike, but because we're not from the same country! Laurence and I just laugh at this reasoning.
Oh, and today someone asked us if we "white women" have menstrual cycles! Like, not only do we not look African, but we're also assumed to have totally different organs and stuff because of how we look! And me and Laurence look nothing alike! That was a real revelation to me. It's like, we're another species to them and that just brings up a whole other topic, like something along the lines of Darwinism. I bet that if I gave them a book on Darwinism, they would totally believe themselves to be lesser humans. Anyway, I digress, the point is I'm still find it interesting that my identity is totally different here.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Adaptation
With Jasmine being here, she showed me how much I've adapted to my environment.
Example #1
I used to fear, I mean FEAR cockroaches! I remember my first couple months where I refused to go to the toilet at night, because that's when the cockroaches came out. The latest I would go was at twilight, but even then, there was a lone cockroach now and then and I would retreat. Now, I go and I figured out that they don't like light or water, and if there's a rebel who won't respond to either, I kick 'em! Look at me 1 year later!
Example #2
My English has gotten really bad/French-like. I say things like "They took a drink at the bar," when it's "They had a drink at the bar," or "I'm going to prepare my bag," insteadof "I'm going to pack my bag." Hmmm....I can't think of another one, but Jas could tell you my speech is weird.
Example #3
I've gotten used to eating bad food. While Jasmine was here, we got served a lot of tege dege na (peanut sauce with leaves) over white rice. That has actually become one of my favorite staple dishes. Jasmine thought it was completely gross. I remember it being gross too, but when you're starving for protein, it's all good.
Example #4
I've become cold-shouldered. I've had so many issues with the women here, that anyone who has ever done me wrong gets the coldest treatment ever! I thought that I was doing this for survival, but Jasmine pointed out that I should be loving these women the most (I hate it when she's right!). I've decided to catch myself on this. I was bad, but it's how I adapted.
Example #5
I've gotten used to being dirty. However, that doesn't mean that I like it! It's so hard to stay clean here. I go to bed with dusty feet from walking on my concrete floor, I (sometimes) let dirty kids touch me and I buy street-food that's touched by stranger's hands, . Actually.....that doesn't sound to dirty, but it is.
I would like to give a 6th example, but I'm at a blank.
Example #1
I used to fear, I mean FEAR cockroaches! I remember my first couple months where I refused to go to the toilet at night, because that's when the cockroaches came out. The latest I would go was at twilight, but even then, there was a lone cockroach now and then and I would retreat. Now, I go and I figured out that they don't like light or water, and if there's a rebel who won't respond to either, I kick 'em! Look at me 1 year later!
Example #2
My English has gotten really bad/French-like. I say things like "They took a drink at the bar," when it's "They had a drink at the bar," or "I'm going to prepare my bag," insteadof "I'm going to pack my bag." Hmmm....I can't think of another one, but Jas could tell you my speech is weird.
Example #3
I've gotten used to eating bad food. While Jasmine was here, we got served a lot of tege dege na (peanut sauce with leaves) over white rice. That has actually become one of my favorite staple dishes. Jasmine thought it was completely gross. I remember it being gross too, but when you're starving for protein, it's all good.
Example #4
I've become cold-shouldered. I've had so many issues with the women here, that anyone who has ever done me wrong gets the coldest treatment ever! I thought that I was doing this for survival, but Jasmine pointed out that I should be loving these women the most (I hate it when she's right!). I've decided to catch myself on this. I was bad, but it's how I adapted.
Example #5
I've gotten used to being dirty. However, that doesn't mean that I like it! It's so hard to stay clean here. I go to bed with dusty feet from walking on my concrete floor, I (sometimes) let dirty kids touch me and I buy street-food that's touched by stranger's hands, . Actually.....that doesn't sound to dirty, but it is.
I would like to give a 6th example, but I'm at a blank.
Jasmine and I/1-year anniversary!!!!!!
God blessed me with a month of my sister's company and it was amazing! I'm still soaking it all in. Time seemed to go by fast and slow at the same time, but we used that time wisely.
We went across the country to see Dogon Country, where we climbed the cliffs to see ancient homes of cliff-dwellers and Djenne, where the largest mud brick mosque is situated. We went to the markets and observed the sites and smells, sometimes really gross. But where we spent most of our time was in my village.
I got to show Jasmine the life that I made and she experienced every thing that I deal with day after day. Because we spent so much time in village, she got to know my Malian family and friends and see how I have been living here for the past 12 months. It was amazing to see how her prissy-scaredy self had to quickly adopt to her new environment, just as I had so long ago. I really didn't give her any forwarning. Maybe that was mean of me, maybe not, but she got to experience the real deal.
I taught her how to draw water, how to take a bucket bath, how to speak some Bambara and how to relate with Malians. It was a very tiring task. Even though I took a break to be a host, I think that this month was the most tiring month I've had during my entire service. I had to constantly translate for her and make sure she was in good health and now, I'm exhausted. However, I'm also rejuvenated!
During my first year, I really didn't have an interest in improving my language skills. Mostly because, I was too busy trying to escape and keep my sanity with my horrible housing situation and trippy-malaria drugs that were causing me anxiety and depression. But, now my situation is so much better and I feel happier and Jasmine's coming has given me an extra boost to continue working in Mali and to better myself.
I thank God for the strength that He has given me this past year! Everything that I have gone through has made me a stronger person. And as my work has winded down for the summer, I pray that I won't waste my time, but use it to my advantage to prepare for my second and final year here.
For the summer, I want to improve my language skills, especially French, do a formation on neem-cream to combat against malaria and paint a world-map at the local high school. It's "Go-time," and I ask for your continual prayers from home as I start another year in Mali.
We went across the country to see Dogon Country, where we climbed the cliffs to see ancient homes of cliff-dwellers and Djenne, where the largest mud brick mosque is situated. We went to the markets and observed the sites and smells, sometimes really gross. But where we spent most of our time was in my village.
I got to show Jasmine the life that I made and she experienced every thing that I deal with day after day. Because we spent so much time in village, she got to know my Malian family and friends and see how I have been living here for the past 12 months. It was amazing to see how her prissy-scaredy self had to quickly adopt to her new environment, just as I had so long ago. I really didn't give her any forwarning. Maybe that was mean of me, maybe not, but she got to experience the real deal.
I taught her how to draw water, how to take a bucket bath, how to speak some Bambara and how to relate with Malians. It was a very tiring task. Even though I took a break to be a host, I think that this month was the most tiring month I've had during my entire service. I had to constantly translate for her and make sure she was in good health and now, I'm exhausted. However, I'm also rejuvenated!
During my first year, I really didn't have an interest in improving my language skills. Mostly because, I was too busy trying to escape and keep my sanity with my horrible housing situation and trippy-malaria drugs that were causing me anxiety and depression. But, now my situation is so much better and I feel happier and Jasmine's coming has given me an extra boost to continue working in Mali and to better myself.
I thank God for the strength that He has given me this past year! Everything that I have gone through has made me a stronger person. And as my work has winded down for the summer, I pray that I won't waste my time, but use it to my advantage to prepare for my second and final year here.
For the summer, I want to improve my language skills, especially French, do a formation on neem-cream to combat against malaria and paint a world-map at the local high school. It's "Go-time," and I ask for your continual prayers from home as I start another year in Mali.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Penis Jokes in Mali
The other night, a group of us were hanging by the corner store chatting and this guy, Kasim, the local playboy comes by and all of a sudden, someone busted out a penis joke! I gasped and gaped because I couldn't believe that they were openly talking about sex. This culture is so hush-hush about things and I was told that it's never talked about in mixed company, but here it was. I understood everything that they were saying too, which was really cool and really funny! They dogged this boy out on his size and I even joined in on the heckling. It was a great moment in cultural understanding!
Secret Admirer
The other day, I found some really pretty flowers wrapped around my door knob. It was a really sweet gesture, so I asked my family who had placed them there and they said that didn't know! Who could it be???
Being Selfish to Survive
Along with the privacy of my nyegen, my house, my hangar and my bike, I realize that my American and PC enforced standards have me being perceived as selfish. I don't think of my self as a selfish person, but in this environment it's kind of necessary for me to be.
Malians have told me that they expect Westerners to give them things. And it's fine to give things to help others, but there's a point when giving too much becomes a handicap. This idea is one thing that separates PC from other NGOs. I'm totally about that tough love and teaching people to defend for themselves, but with my family I feel I've been too tough.
They give me so much, openly, but with me being one person, I feel like I can't do the same. It would not only be financially, but emotionally-draining as well. And whenever I think of buying something for one particular person, I would have to buy something for multiple people and I don't want to, so I don't buy for anyone. Sometimes, I just buy for everyone, but I don't want that to become a habit or expectation.
It's tiring to have to think like this! Why does it have to be this complicated? For example, when I went to Italy, I wanted to buy gifts for Adama, Moussa, Rokia, Yacouba and my homologue, because they take care of me. And I was spending Euros on these gifts, which was expensive. But, I couldn't buy them things without buying for the grandpa, grandma and the loathsome, Aissata. I reaaaaally didn't want to buy a gift for Aissata, but I had to because it would be seen as an insult (even though I really wanted to insult her, I decided to fight her with kindness) to buy for one of Yacouba's wives and not the other. It's so annoying.
Even if I buy for myself a small bag of peanuts, I can't just keep them to myself if I eat outside. So, I hide inside my hot house just so I can eat my bag of peanuts.
In Mali, it's not acceptable for one to work hard for their money to buy themselves and their family something. You work hard so that you can buy your family and yourself something. It's about the group before the individual. Americans don't really operate like that. I see this as a good and bad thing and this is why I'm perceived as selfish.
Malians have told me that they expect Westerners to give them things. And it's fine to give things to help others, but there's a point when giving too much becomes a handicap. This idea is one thing that separates PC from other NGOs. I'm totally about that tough love and teaching people to defend for themselves, but with my family I feel I've been too tough.
They give me so much, openly, but with me being one person, I feel like I can't do the same. It would not only be financially, but emotionally-draining as well. And whenever I think of buying something for one particular person, I would have to buy something for multiple people and I don't want to, so I don't buy for anyone. Sometimes, I just buy for everyone, but I don't want that to become a habit or expectation.
It's tiring to have to think like this! Why does it have to be this complicated? For example, when I went to Italy, I wanted to buy gifts for Adama, Moussa, Rokia, Yacouba and my homologue, because they take care of me. And I was spending Euros on these gifts, which was expensive. But, I couldn't buy them things without buying for the grandpa, grandma and the loathsome, Aissata. I reaaaaally didn't want to buy a gift for Aissata, but I had to because it would be seen as an insult (even though I really wanted to insult her, I decided to fight her with kindness) to buy for one of Yacouba's wives and not the other. It's so annoying.
Even if I buy for myself a small bag of peanuts, I can't just keep them to myself if I eat outside. So, I hide inside my hot house just so I can eat my bag of peanuts.
In Mali, it's not acceptable for one to work hard for their money to buy themselves and their family something. You work hard so that you can buy your family and yourself something. It's about the group before the individual. Americans don't really operate like that. I see this as a good and bad thing and this is why I'm perceived as selfish.
Another Toubab/Segregation Issues???
So, my host dad told me that he'll be hosting a Canadian woman, from this NGO called, SUCO, for the next three-months. She'll be here sometime in June and I don't know how I feel about this. One, it would be cool to have another Westerner here in my family compound, who most probably speaks English. I could teach her a lot of the things that I've learned over the past 10-months. It could be fun, but I'm also worried about being treated differently by my family with another Toubab here.
My host dad has already asked me if the newbie could share my nyegen and initally I said yes, but I'm starting to wish that I had said no. It's PC regulation that my nyegen should not be used by anyone else, but there have been instances when my family has used my nyegen, without asking, and I've called them out on it and even called PC. So, if I allow this newbie to use it, what message does that send to my family? It'll totally be promoting segregation, because it's me saying that "This Westerner can use my nyegen, but you're Malian, so you can't." And why? The belief would be that I think that they are dirty.
But, it honestly makes sense for the girl to use my nyegen because there are so many people here and they don't want to inconvenience a guest. What to do, what to do???
My host dad has already asked me if the newbie could share my nyegen and initally I said yes, but I'm starting to wish that I had said no. It's PC regulation that my nyegen should not be used by anyone else, but there have been instances when my family has used my nyegen, without asking, and I've called them out on it and even called PC. So, if I allow this newbie to use it, what message does that send to my family? It'll totally be promoting segregation, because it's me saying that "This Westerner can use my nyegen, but you're Malian, so you can't." And why? The belief would be that I think that they are dirty.
But, it honestly makes sense for the girl to use my nyegen because there are so many people here and they don't want to inconvenience a guest. What to do, what to do???
Test-taking
During this week, the 10th and 11th form classes are taking their final exams. I decided to be a test-monitor and get the goods on the cheating ways of Malian students......and I'm bored. With such large classrooms and not enough lazy teachers, it's sooooo easy for these kids to cheat! But, cheating is having the answer given to them, and according to my teacher-friend, Abdoulay, the African-mindset, not just Malian, is that they should be given things. I really don't understand where that comes from, when Malians live such a hard life, but I find it to be fact.
Oh, but before I get off track, these students think they are so slick. They must've gotten by with these tactics for years with their teachers, but I'm a behavioral scientist. There's nothing these kids could get past me. I took away many cell phones, cheat sheets, headphones, seperated kids. These fools had nothing on me and the real teachers were missing all of this. Like, do they care? I told one teacher to take away someones cell phone and he told me that that was a great idea! Huh?! Duh!
It's almost like, the teachers just want the kids to get by. Well, I know that's not true, but test-taking needs to be taken more seriously and catching cheating is about teaching discipline and respect for oneself and others.
I don't know what the rules are about cheating, except that it's wrong, but what are the consequences? I grew up with threats of detention, suspension, expulsion, marks on my permanent record and law-suits. There's a reason for having these consequences, because cheating is not acceptable. It shows bad character.
Oh, but before I get off track, these students think they are so slick. They must've gotten by with these tactics for years with their teachers, but I'm a behavioral scientist. There's nothing these kids could get past me. I took away many cell phones, cheat sheets, headphones, seperated kids. These fools had nothing on me and the real teachers were missing all of this. Like, do they care? I told one teacher to take away someones cell phone and he told me that that was a great idea! Huh?! Duh!
It's almost like, the teachers just want the kids to get by. Well, I know that's not true, but test-taking needs to be taken more seriously and catching cheating is about teaching discipline and respect for oneself and others.
I don't know what the rules are about cheating, except that it's wrong, but what are the consequences? I grew up with threats of detention, suspension, expulsion, marks on my permanent record and law-suits. There's a reason for having these consequences, because cheating is not acceptable. It shows bad character.
God....thank you
I'm seriously beginning to wonder if this land is cursed. You can never get a break here! I'm always combatting something; taking medication and vitamins, putting on coats of sunblock and itching cream, swatting flies, mosquitoes. And just when I think that things are getting better with the rains coming, I now have to watch out for scorpions the size of my hand, porcupines and snakes, who also want to enjoy the cooler weather. How can all of these troublesome things be in one place and then to add the stress of poverty on top of it all? It's not fair. With all the things that I have to deal with each day, I can't help but thank God for giving me life and strength and a better life in America.
Back from vacay!
The weather is changing again. The mango-rains have begun and hot-season is at its last bout. I missed about 1/4 of the hot-season while I vacationed in Italy. I had a great time! I ate excellent food, used a flushing-toilet everyday, ate ice cream everyday, saw all types of people of different colors, didn't see any trash piles or dirt, I felt clean for long periods of the day. It was like being back in America.
One thing that I noticed in the beginning of my journey is my expectations of men were different. As I was standing in lines at the Bamako airport, I felt that I had to be on my guard with men trying to cut me, because I'm a woman. I guess it was my awareness, that men in this country believe they are superior to women, that caught me off-gaurd.
But, as I left the African-continent and entered Europe, that feeling quickly faded as men offered me seats on buses and trains and offered me their spots in line. Not that this doesn't happen to me in Mali, but it's quite rare for a Malian-man, who's not trying to hit-on you, to behave in this way.
Where does chivalry come from? Why did it not affect Malian men? Why don't the women demand it?
One thing that I noticed in the beginning of my journey is my expectations of men were different. As I was standing in lines at the Bamako airport, I felt that I had to be on my guard with men trying to cut me, because I'm a woman. I guess it was my awareness, that men in this country believe they are superior to women, that caught me off-gaurd.
But, as I left the African-continent and entered Europe, that feeling quickly faded as men offered me seats on buses and trains and offered me their spots in line. Not that this doesn't happen to me in Mali, but it's quite rare for a Malian-man, who's not trying to hit-on you, to behave in this way.
Where does chivalry come from? Why did it not affect Malian men? Why don't the women demand it?
Monday, April 4, 2011
I can't stand girls (I know, I'm one of them)
I never thought this would happen, but I am mad at Adama. She's been acting so weird/distant. I noticed it awhile ago, maybe around the time when I was having a fit over my house back in January. She's been talking to me, but she hasn't been telling me things and she hasn't been inviting me places and I don't why.
I mean, I'm a pretty polite person. I know how to say my "thank you's," and whenever I feel that I've offended someone, I try my best to apologize because I don't want any unnecessary drama. And I value my space, so I try to give people there's as well. So, I'm pretty sure it's not something I did, maybe it's something I'm not doing?
Lately, I've noticed her getting more fed up with me not knowing Bambara. And I admit, I've been a bit lazy with learning it mainly because I didn't have an environment to learn in. Also, learning languages is a bit difficult for me here because everything is done outside and it's always so loud. Also, I do live in a different world than her. I mean, I work outside of the house (sometimes), I have my own money and men treat me differently, so maybe there's some jealousy there too.
But, what really tipped me off to something being wrong is that she didn't invite me to three events in village during the past month. The first time, her husband Mousa asked me why I didn't go to some marriage. I said, no one told me there was one. And when Adama came back, he called her out on not inviting me. Then, she fakely invited and I said that I would go later with someone who had invited me. But, once we went, it was over.
The second time was for another marriage. Adama went with my other host mom, Rokia. I went with my host sister, Maima, who had invited me along. The third time, was for a baptism. This time, Adama went twice with Rokia and neither of them invited me to go! What the heck?! I was doing nothing all day and not once did they mention a baptism to me. And when I went later, this time by myself, the hosts asked me why I didn't come this afternoon. I told them that no one invited me along.
Like, how is that supposed to make me feel? I would never do that to my stagiere from another country. I'm already alone here, but to suddenly feel alone in the family I've been living with for months, just isn't right. And when Maima asked me why I didn't go to the baptism before, I said it was because Adama didn't invite me to go. I think I even heard my host dad ask Adama and Rokia why they didn't invite me. I consider it rude and inconsiderate and maybe I'm not the only one who thinks so.
Now there's just tension and neither of us wants to be the one to break the silence. Except, I do greet her and thank her for the food she serves me, because I'm not rude like that. What's going on?
I mean, I'm a pretty polite person. I know how to say my "thank you's," and whenever I feel that I've offended someone, I try my best to apologize because I don't want any unnecessary drama. And I value my space, so I try to give people there's as well. So, I'm pretty sure it's not something I did, maybe it's something I'm not doing?
Lately, I've noticed her getting more fed up with me not knowing Bambara. And I admit, I've been a bit lazy with learning it mainly because I didn't have an environment to learn in. Also, learning languages is a bit difficult for me here because everything is done outside and it's always so loud. Also, I do live in a different world than her. I mean, I work outside of the house (sometimes), I have my own money and men treat me differently, so maybe there's some jealousy there too.
But, what really tipped me off to something being wrong is that she didn't invite me to three events in village during the past month. The first time, her husband Mousa asked me why I didn't go to some marriage. I said, no one told me there was one. And when Adama came back, he called her out on not inviting me. Then, she fakely invited and I said that I would go later with someone who had invited me. But, once we went, it was over.
The second time was for another marriage. Adama went with my other host mom, Rokia. I went with my host sister, Maima, who had invited me along. The third time, was for a baptism. This time, Adama went twice with Rokia and neither of them invited me to go! What the heck?! I was doing nothing all day and not once did they mention a baptism to me. And when I went later, this time by myself, the hosts asked me why I didn't come this afternoon. I told them that no one invited me along.
Like, how is that supposed to make me feel? I would never do that to my stagiere from another country. I'm already alone here, but to suddenly feel alone in the family I've been living with for months, just isn't right. And when Maima asked me why I didn't go to the baptism before, I said it was because Adama didn't invite me to go. I think I even heard my host dad ask Adama and Rokia why they didn't invite me. I consider it rude and inconsiderate and maybe I'm not the only one who thinks so.
Now there's just tension and neither of us wants to be the one to break the silence. Except, I do greet her and thank her for the food she serves me, because I'm not rude like that. What's going on?
At laaaaaast, my house has come around
Guess what! On April 2nd 2011, I finally moved into the house that I've been awaiting so patiently. As soon as I made a move, my little host siblings made a big motion and gathered up all my things in 20 minutes! If you're ever in a hurry to move somewhere, just hire a moving crew of Malian kids, lol.
I now have three-rooms spacious green and white rooms that I can walk around in, even naked if I wanted to, why? Because they're mine! It's so beautiful. I have a salon, my bedroom and a kitchen/storage room. And in all three rooms, I have electricity. They even hooked up electricity on the ceiling if I wanted to purchase ceiling fans! But, with me going to Italy in 12-days, I don't have a lot of extra cash floating around.
However, with the cash I have, I will purchase a floor-fan, cooking ware, eating utensils, and shelves for my many books and clothes. I have so much stuff to buy. Maybe, I should start a new project called "Ya'll-screwed-me-over-for-the-first-7-months-of-my-stay-so-you-should-buy-me-things-fund." Kidding. I think that if it hadn't been for this, I would not have enough money for my trip, so thank God!
I now have three-rooms spacious green and white rooms that I can walk around in, even naked if I wanted to, why? Because they're mine! It's so beautiful. I have a salon, my bedroom and a kitchen/storage room. And in all three rooms, I have electricity. They even hooked up electricity on the ceiling if I wanted to purchase ceiling fans! But, with me going to Italy in 12-days, I don't have a lot of extra cash floating around.
However, with the cash I have, I will purchase a floor-fan, cooking ware, eating utensils, and shelves for my many books and clothes. I have so much stuff to buy. Maybe, I should start a new project called "Ya'll-screwed-me-over-for-the-first-7-months-of-my-stay-so-you-should-buy-me-things-fund." Kidding. I think that if it hadn't been for this, I would not have enough money for my trip, so thank God!
Life
Sometimes, it's hard for me to realize that this African-experience is real. Not to say that I'm going crazy (although sometimes I feel that is the case), but things are so different here. And then, something happens that pulls me back in.
For example, yesterday, Dawa took her first steps! It was so beautiful to see her up on her feet and walking 5 feet at-a-time! And I cheered for her, and I could tell that she knew I was proud of her and she just gave me the greatest smile. It was at this point that I was drawn back to reality. Even though I may feel that this is a dream, it's moments like these that remind me that life, my life, is happening here.
For example, yesterday, Dawa took her first steps! It was so beautiful to see her up on her feet and walking 5 feet at-a-time! And I cheered for her, and I could tell that she knew I was proud of her and she just gave me the greatest smile. It was at this point that I was drawn back to reality. Even though I may feel that this is a dream, it's moments like these that remind me that life, my life, is happening here.
Boredom Can Spark New Ideas!
So, I'm getting bored. Unfortunately, I'm still waiting on funding for my Career Day and my library committee is still working on a budget. I'm also thinking about what the heck I'm gonna do during the summer-months when school is out. I'm scared, because I'll be even more bored, so I gotta find something to preoccupy myself.
Therefore, I'm thinking about getting more aquainted with my local health clinic. It's called a CSCOM. I think it stands for Community Health Center and Outpatient Maternity (?). And those who know me , know that I've always had a strong interest in health issues. I'd really like to learn more about why African health care is so poor.
What are their daily practices? What kind of training does the staff have? What is their pay? What is the patient to doctor ratio? What are the sanitation standards? How do patients pay for the medical services? Is there any health education involved with treatment? How is AIDS perceived here? What are the medical superstitions/bush medicines that people believe? I have sooooooo many questions and I'm really excited to start having new conversations and new things to share with you all.
Therefore, I'm thinking about getting more aquainted with my local health clinic. It's called a CSCOM. I think it stands for Community Health Center and Outpatient Maternity (?). And those who know me , know that I've always had a strong interest in health issues. I'd really like to learn more about why African health care is so poor.
What are their daily practices? What kind of training does the staff have? What is their pay? What is the patient to doctor ratio? What are the sanitation standards? How do patients pay for the medical services? Is there any health education involved with treatment? How is AIDS perceived here? What are the medical superstitions/bush medicines that people believe? I have sooooooo many questions and I'm really excited to start having new conversations and new things to share with you all.
Hair Venting
So as I live and grow in Mali, my hair is also growing without being permed every 4-6 weeks and I'm loving it! But, as always, I've got haters telling me I need to get my hair braided or cut. I'm like, "What the heck? Why? Do you not like my hair,?" and my haters are like, "No, I like your hair, but you need to get it braided or cut. But, why?
Finally, the other day, a girl gave me a reason to this madness: she said, "You should get it braided because everyone else has their hair braided," Aha! This opened up a whole new issue on the mentality of people here, especially women. In this culture, appearance is everything, especially if you don't have anything going for you, then it really is everything. And what's really interesting is that these women don't mind looking like the next woman.
Yesterday, I went to a wedding and it really surprised me that half of the women in-attendance were wearing the same fabric. That would never happen at home, unless you're in the marriage party, a sorority, a family reunion or bar/bat mitzvah.
Being different is somewhat more encouraged where I grew up and this is a big difference between me and Malian women. Uniqueness is a good thing. This is what America was built on: daredevils. So, it takes bravery to be oneself and this seems to be lacking here.
Finally, the other day, a girl gave me a reason to this madness: she said, "You should get it braided because everyone else has their hair braided," Aha! This opened up a whole new issue on the mentality of people here, especially women. In this culture, appearance is everything, especially if you don't have anything going for you, then it really is everything. And what's really interesting is that these women don't mind looking like the next woman.
Yesterday, I went to a wedding and it really surprised me that half of the women in-attendance were wearing the same fabric. That would never happen at home, unless you're in the marriage party, a sorority, a family reunion or bar/bat mitzvah.
Being different is somewhat more encouraged where I grew up and this is a big difference between me and Malian women. Uniqueness is a good thing. This is what America was built on: daredevils. So, it takes bravery to be oneself and this seems to be lacking here.
Tell Me Who I Am, Who I Am
A person's race is an interesting subject. It's frustrating enough trying to figure what a person's character is, but to add the question of genetics is another twist to the mystery of someone. "What are you?" Well, what exactly does that mean? I answer, "African-American," but then people ask, "What country in Africa are your parents from?" My response, "I don't know," I receive puzzling looks.
I then give a summarized version of African-slavery in America. Then they say, "You don't look African," what does that mean? You can't tell by looking at someone what their place of origin is. But then I ask myself, "Am I African-American?" Just because I have darker skin and coarser hair, doesn't mean I'm "African-American," I'm an American, who's Black.
So, then I say, "I'm Black-American," but they say that I'm not Black, because my skin isn't as dark as theirs and my hair is not as nappy and I dress and act differently. So, then I tell them that my ancestors come from many places, including Africa, and this is why I look the way that I do and my culture is different. Then, they're confused why I call myself "Black". And a few months later, they'll ask me again, "What are you?" If Africans don't even think I'm Black, then what am I?
What is Black? This is a question the world has been asking for so long, because we're such a unique race with so many different colors, hair types, bone structures. We're sweet, too sweet to comprehend, even among ourselves (lol).
I then give a summarized version of African-slavery in America. Then they say, "You don't look African," what does that mean? You can't tell by looking at someone what their place of origin is. But then I ask myself, "Am I African-American?" Just because I have darker skin and coarser hair, doesn't mean I'm "African-American," I'm an American, who's Black.
So, then I say, "I'm Black-American," but they say that I'm not Black, because my skin isn't as dark as theirs and my hair is not as nappy and I dress and act differently. So, then I tell them that my ancestors come from many places, including Africa, and this is why I look the way that I do and my culture is different. Then, they're confused why I call myself "Black". And a few months later, they'll ask me again, "What are you?" If Africans don't even think I'm Black, then what am I?
What is Black? This is a question the world has been asking for so long, because we're such a unique race with so many different colors, hair types, bone structures. We're sweet, too sweet to comprehend, even among ourselves (lol).
Cynicsm
I'm making plans for my house now. It's finished! It's over-due (again) by almost three weeks, but I now have a place to call home. I guess I should just keep reminding myself that I'm in Mali and keep my expectations low. Though, it's sad that I have to think that way. One thing that I've heard about PCVs is that those who serve in South America become politically active/aware, those who serve in Eastern Europe become alcoholics and those who serve in Africa become cynical.
I'm starting to see some truth in that statement. Typically, I'm an optimist, I still am, but I'm becoming more of a realist duriing my time in Mali. I believe that anyone can make a difference in this world, but if they don't want to, then nothing will be changed. I'm sure I'm not the first to ask this question, but "How can the African-mindset be changed?"
Or, should it even be changed? Maybe this is the way it should be to keep order in the world. I'm definitely sure I'm not the first Westerner to think that, because it is so hard to work in Africa. Westerners are used to a faster pace of things and believe that "time is money," but that concept doesn't really exist here.
However, the beauty in that nonexistance is that there is more time for people. Even though I'm not always a fan, I understand the reasoning that people are important (lol). But sometimes, they have to realize that they are in a meeting room with a lot of people who are trying to get home. You can't take 10 minutes to greet the average-Mousa who just walked in, even if he is your best friend! I don't see this behavior changing at all, because it's ingrained in them.
Another issue is the mindset in education. I know I've already touched on this, so I'll just say a short statement about it. Most students go to school and sit, copy, sit, go home, eat, sleep, go back to school, sit, copy, sit, go home, do things, might have homework to do, but no studying is done. No real learning is done, only memorization from what I can see. How can this change? I don't see it changing...........
I'm such a cynic.
I'm starting to see some truth in that statement. Typically, I'm an optimist, I still am, but I'm becoming more of a realist duriing my time in Mali. I believe that anyone can make a difference in this world, but if they don't want to, then nothing will be changed. I'm sure I'm not the first to ask this question, but "How can the African-mindset be changed?"
Or, should it even be changed? Maybe this is the way it should be to keep order in the world. I'm definitely sure I'm not the first Westerner to think that, because it is so hard to work in Africa. Westerners are used to a faster pace of things and believe that "time is money," but that concept doesn't really exist here.
However, the beauty in that nonexistance is that there is more time for people. Even though I'm not always a fan, I understand the reasoning that people are important (lol). But sometimes, they have to realize that they are in a meeting room with a lot of people who are trying to get home. You can't take 10 minutes to greet the average-Mousa who just walked in, even if he is your best friend! I don't see this behavior changing at all, because it's ingrained in them.
Another issue is the mindset in education. I know I've already touched on this, so I'll just say a short statement about it. Most students go to school and sit, copy, sit, go home, eat, sleep, go back to school, sit, copy, sit, go home, do things, might have homework to do, but no studying is done. No real learning is done, only memorization from what I can see. How can this change? I don't see it changing...........
I'm such a cynic.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Random-fun/scary thoughts
sSo you know what's cool about traveling? When you travel to another part of the world, you can be whoever you want. You can change your name, your hair, your clothes, the language you speak, your personality, whatever you want. But, what's weird is that there are some changes made that you have no control over. For instance, the color of my skin has changed, my body has changed, even the smell of my sweat has changed.
My perception and certain behaviors have changed as well. I used to be uncomfortable having people serve me food, set the table for me, draw my water, give up their seat for me, etc. But, now I find it strange when that's not done. Also, strangely, I'm more aware of the fact that I'm a woman here. Because I'm a woman, I have to dress a certain way, some men won't shake hands with me and I'm constantly being claimed as someone's wife. Even at certain restaurants, I find myself having to wait at least 10 minutes to be served, because I'm a woman. And secondly, it is made clear to me everyday, by Malians, that I am not African and most times, I'm not even Black. My own family still calls me a Tubab, but I ask myself "Do I really want to be treated as one of them?" I also wonder, "I came here to grow from this experience, but could I also be losing a part of myself as well?"
My perception and certain behaviors have changed as well. I used to be uncomfortable having people serve me food, set the table for me, draw my water, give up their seat for me, etc. But, now I find it strange when that's not done. Also, strangely, I'm more aware of the fact that I'm a woman here. Because I'm a woman, I have to dress a certain way, some men won't shake hands with me and I'm constantly being claimed as someone's wife. Even at certain restaurants, I find myself having to wait at least 10 minutes to be served, because I'm a woman. And secondly, it is made clear to me everyday, by Malians, that I am not African and most times, I'm not even Black. My own family still calls me a Tubab, but I ask myself "Do I really want to be treated as one of them?" I also wonder, "I came here to grow from this experience, but could I also be losing a part of myself as well?"
A Whole New World!
Coming into the Peace Corps, I knew that I would meet new people, learn a new language and live in a different culture, but I had no idea that it would be a great networking platform for me. I have met so many expats and volunteers from other countries and it's opened up a whole realm of different opportunities for me.
I've met ambassadors, mayors, other government officials, NGO reps and various other interesting people. My encounters with them have got me thinking of doing more international work, especially as my french-skills improve. Who knows, I might try working a year abroad somewhere.
Also, living/working here has caused me to be less afraid of taking chances and making mistakes. I make mistakes every day and it's alright, because as long as I make an effort, I know I've done my job. I have to take meetings with mayors, government officials, school officials and village chiefs in French, Bambara and Frambra (French/Bambara) and I'm not fluent in either, but I have to stand for my cause: the Malian-youth. These experiences are helping me to be a better, more cofindent me.
So, who knows who I'll be or what I'll be doing 1.5 years from now!
I've met ambassadors, mayors, other government officials, NGO reps and various other interesting people. My encounters with them have got me thinking of doing more international work, especially as my french-skills improve. Who knows, I might try working a year abroad somewhere.
Also, living/working here has caused me to be less afraid of taking chances and making mistakes. I make mistakes every day and it's alright, because as long as I make an effort, I know I've done my job. I have to take meetings with mayors, government officials, school officials and village chiefs in French, Bambara and Frambra (French/Bambara) and I'm not fluent in either, but I have to stand for my cause: the Malian-youth. These experiences are helping me to be a better, more cofindent me.
So, who knows who I'll be or what I'll be doing 1.5 years from now!
Barrake jumen Ne bolo?/Quelle travaille est-ce que je fais?/What do I work on?
During my bad month, I tried to stay focused on my work instead of my problems. But, I really wanted everything to be about me. However, I made some head-way on my work here! I have been working with the local high school to create a "Career Day" for the top students. I would have liked to have invited all of the students, but after creating a budget, I found that it's not feasible. So, what me and the director have planned is to invite eight professionals from various fields of work, to talk to the students about how they became lawyers, doctors, radio personalities, NGO workers, etc. And I hope, that this day will also be a platform for some networking and possible summer-internships for the students in attendance!
I came up with this idea after I sat in on a biology class. There were only five students seated there that day, out of a total of eight who are registered. And half of the class are girls. I talked with the teacher afterward to find out why the number of students focused on the sciences is so miniscule compared to the others. He said, the students are scared, lazy and not motivated and last year, there were 10 biology students and only five of them passed the Bacculaurate (an equivalent to an American high school diploma). This really saddened me because I was a science major and I want to motivate more students to pursue it. Hence, i asked the director if he'd be open to hosting a "Career Day" and voila, we plan to host one on April 9th!
My other project is the construction of a school library. I've asked the Ministry of Education for help on this project and from talking with them, I see that this is going to be a huge undertaking. I have to host meetings, write budgets/timelines, find funding, find books, find librarians. But the biggest stressor is working with people, and not just people, but people who have no concept of time! And honestly, I'm more like a "Creative Director", than a "Manager", but Peace Corps has provided me with tools to help me do all of this (Do any of you have tips on management???) But, I find myself wondering, "Did I jump into this too soon?" Maybe, maybe not, but this library is needed and I'm going to try my very best to get it done. Even if it takes the rest of my time here to finish it, it will get done.
Both of these projects are really going to be a test of my management and communication skills. Y'all keep praying for me!
I came up with this idea after I sat in on a biology class. There were only five students seated there that day, out of a total of eight who are registered. And half of the class are girls. I talked with the teacher afterward to find out why the number of students focused on the sciences is so miniscule compared to the others. He said, the students are scared, lazy and not motivated and last year, there were 10 biology students and only five of them passed the Bacculaurate (an equivalent to an American high school diploma). This really saddened me because I was a science major and I want to motivate more students to pursue it. Hence, i asked the director if he'd be open to hosting a "Career Day" and voila, we plan to host one on April 9th!
My other project is the construction of a school library. I've asked the Ministry of Education for help on this project and from talking with them, I see that this is going to be a huge undertaking. I have to host meetings, write budgets/timelines, find funding, find books, find librarians. But the biggest stressor is working with people, and not just people, but people who have no concept of time! And honestly, I'm more like a "Creative Director", than a "Manager", but Peace Corps has provided me with tools to help me do all of this (Do any of you have tips on management???) But, I find myself wondering, "Did I jump into this too soon?" Maybe, maybe not, but this library is needed and I'm going to try my very best to get it done. Even if it takes the rest of my time here to finish it, it will get done.
Both of these projects are really going to be a test of my management and communication skills. Y'all keep praying for me!
Just Breathe
So, a lot has happened over the past month and a half. This is the main reason why I haven't updated this blog.
I had a very rough January/part of February. After the Christmas break, I caught cold and I went in to see the doctor to find that my blood pressure was sky-high, 160/100! I, stupidly, hadn't been taking my medicine and the doctor made me stay in Bamako to get tested for various things for a week. They found that everything is fine, physically and I've lost 30 lbs. Since then, I had to come into Bamako every week to get my blood pressure checked. From coming in to talk with my doctor, we found that my high BP was caused by stress and anxiety, not because of my work, but because of my environment.
I have been living in one room, in a concession with 30 or so people , and it had finally taken its toll on me. There was always constant questioning and teasing from girls in my compound, who are clearly jealous of me and it got to me. But, it wasn't the actual teasing that got to me, it was the lack of personal space over a length of 6-months. Can you imagine living like this? I was feeling cornered-in and this is why I was having anxiety attacks. I couldn't focus on my work, I was escaping village whenever I could to get my much needed space.
But now, things are a lot better. I made my voice heard at the Peace Corps office and they have acted quickly on helping my family build my house! There was talk of PC finding me a new home outside of my families concession, but they decided it would not be safe. Therefore, I'll have three-rooms and a gwa (patio) built in my families concession. It will be finished by March 10th!
I had a very rough January/part of February. After the Christmas break, I caught cold and I went in to see the doctor to find that my blood pressure was sky-high, 160/100! I, stupidly, hadn't been taking my medicine and the doctor made me stay in Bamako to get tested for various things for a week. They found that everything is fine, physically and I've lost 30 lbs. Since then, I had to come into Bamako every week to get my blood pressure checked. From coming in to talk with my doctor, we found that my high BP was caused by stress and anxiety, not because of my work, but because of my environment.
I have been living in one room, in a concession with 30 or so people , and it had finally taken its toll on me. There was always constant questioning and teasing from girls in my compound, who are clearly jealous of me and it got to me. But, it wasn't the actual teasing that got to me, it was the lack of personal space over a length of 6-months. Can you imagine living like this? I was feeling cornered-in and this is why I was having anxiety attacks. I couldn't focus on my work, I was escaping village whenever I could to get my much needed space.
But now, things are a lot better. I made my voice heard at the Peace Corps office and they have acted quickly on helping my family build my house! There was talk of PC finding me a new home outside of my families concession, but they decided it would not be safe. Therefore, I'll have three-rooms and a gwa (patio) built in my families concession. It will be finished by March 10th!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Family matters
So, in my first couple months I had a lot to complain about my family. Now, I have a lot to be grateful for. My village is not a village at all actually, it's a small city and I now realize that my family doesn't want me going out alone because they care. I've put myself in some potentially dangerous situations with men lately and although I don't pay most of these men any attention, that doesn't mean I'm not on their radar.
I won't get into too much detail, but one day I got into these guys car who said that they were travel agents, and they wanted to discuss business at the bar across the street. I had met them once before and my brother knew one of them, so I hopped in the car. We went to the bar and we did discuss what they had to offer, but then they asked me to stay for chicken and if I wanted to go meet this guys mom in another town. I said no, thanks and that I was going home. I started to walk out, but then they offered me a ride back home. So, like an idiot, I got back in the car.
They did drive me home. but asked if they could visit me when they're back in town, blah blah blah, "heck no!" So, when I stepped out the car, my host mom, Rokia was at the entrance of the concession and she asked me where I went. She looked really upset and I was nervous to tell her I went to the bar, but she was upset that I hopped in these strange guys car. She said that they were bad men because they didn't even greet the family, which is a big deal. She said that they also looked buzzed. Adama was so upset and told me that my host dad was sooooo mad with me and he asked everyone where I went, but no one knew. I felt really bad and I sincerely apologized, as I felt like I was being scolded by my parents and I knew that it was out of love.
These people, my family, really care about me and I'm so thankful to know that they've got my back even though we don't fully understand each other. And sometimes, I forget that this is my real life here because I don't have the same name, I'm in a different country and I speak in different tongues, but life knows when to give me a reality check.
I won't get into too much detail, but one day I got into these guys car who said that they were travel agents, and they wanted to discuss business at the bar across the street. I had met them once before and my brother knew one of them, so I hopped in the car. We went to the bar and we did discuss what they had to offer, but then they asked me to stay for chicken and if I wanted to go meet this guys mom in another town. I said no, thanks and that I was going home. I started to walk out, but then they offered me a ride back home. So, like an idiot, I got back in the car.
They did drive me home. but asked if they could visit me when they're back in town, blah blah blah, "heck no!" So, when I stepped out the car, my host mom, Rokia was at the entrance of the concession and she asked me where I went. She looked really upset and I was nervous to tell her I went to the bar, but she was upset that I hopped in these strange guys car. She said that they were bad men because they didn't even greet the family, which is a big deal. She said that they also looked buzzed. Adama was so upset and told me that my host dad was sooooo mad with me and he asked everyone where I went, but no one knew. I felt really bad and I sincerely apologized, as I felt like I was being scolded by my parents and I knew that it was out of love.
These people, my family, really care about me and I'm so thankful to know that they've got my back even though we don't fully understand each other. And sometimes, I forget that this is my real life here because I don't have the same name, I'm in a different country and I speak in different tongues, but life knows when to give me a reality check.
Lost in translation
Today, I had my first meeting about building a library at the Mayor's office. I had no idea what to expect, so I didn't prepare much for it and I'm glad that I didn't because in Mali, women don't run meetings if there are men present. Sooooo, the eldest man in the room ran the meeting, allowing people to speak when it was there turn and I presented the things that are needed for a library, according to the Ministry of Education. The meeting itself was unlike any meetinig I've attended in America. Malians are very vocal and active when they have the floor and I was trying to keep up with what was being discussed in Bambara and French. I admit, I'm a little disappointed in my language ability at this point in the game. I have my on-and-off-days, but I need more on-days! Like, I would really like to understand every single word that's being said because some important issues are being discussed. It's very frustrating and I don't want people to see me as incompetent, so pray for me y'all.
What it feels like for a girl
Adama is finally going to University! I've been waiting for this day for months and I'm so happy for her. However, yesterday she told me that she was not going to Law School, but to another program called FLASH, to learn English. I was so confused and I inquired why she made this sudden change because I need her to make enough money to come and visit me! She said that Moussa made the decision for her. I asked her if this is what she wants to do and she said yes, but I don't quite believe it. As happy as I am to see her going to school, I am also enraged that Adama doesn't have the freedom to choose her own career! I guess it is a smart move for her to study English because I am here to help her. However, if American culture treated women as Malian culture does, I wouldn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of being here! Don't they see that truth, the beauty of women having the freedom to choose? Who knows, Adama could've been the best lawyer Mali has ever seen, but I guess we'll never know.
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