Saturday, February 26, 2011

Random-fun/scary thoughts

sSo you know what's cool about traveling? When you travel to another part of the world, you can be whoever you want. You can change your name, your hair, your clothes, the language you speak, your personality, whatever you want. But, what's weird is that there are some changes made that you have no control over. For instance, the color of my skin has changed, my body has changed, even the smell of my sweat has changed.

My perception and certain behaviors have changed as well. I used to be uncomfortable having people serve me food, set the table for me, draw my water, give up their seat for me, etc. But, now I find it strange when that's not done. Also, strangely, I'm more aware of the fact that I'm a woman here. Because I'm a woman, I have to dress a certain way, some men won't shake hands with me and I'm constantly being claimed as someone's wife. Even at certain restaurants, I find myself having to wait at least 10 minutes to be served, because I'm a woman. And secondly, it is made clear to me everyday, by Malians, that I am not African and most times, I'm not even Black. My own family still calls me a Tubab, but I ask myself "Do I really want to be treated as one of them?" I also wonder, "I came here to grow from this experience, but could I also be losing a part of myself as well?"

A Whole New World!

Coming into the Peace Corps, I knew that I would meet new people, learn a new language and live in a different culture, but I had no idea that it would be a great networking platform for me. I have met so many expats and volunteers from other countries and it's opened up a whole realm of different opportunities for me.

I've met ambassadors, mayors, other government officials, NGO reps and various other interesting people. My encounters with them have got me thinking of doing more international work, especially as my french-skills improve. Who knows, I might try working a year abroad somewhere.

Also, living/working here has caused me to be less afraid of taking chances and making mistakes. I make mistakes every day and it's alright, because as long as I make an effort, I know I've done my job. I have to take meetings with mayors, government officials, school officials and village chiefs in French, Bambara and Frambra (French/Bambara) and I'm not fluent in either, but I have to stand for my cause: the Malian-youth. These experiences are helping me to be a better, more cofindent me.

So, who knows who I'll be or what I'll be doing 1.5 years from now!

Barrake jumen Ne bolo?/Quelle travaille est-ce que je fais?/What do I work on?

During my bad month, I tried to stay focused on my work instead of my problems. But, I really wanted everything to be about me. However, I made some head-way on my work here! I have been working with the local high school to create a "Career Day" for the top students. I would have liked to have invited all of the students, but after creating a budget, I found that it's not feasible. So, what me and the director have planned is to invite eight professionals from various fields of work, to talk to the students about how they became lawyers, doctors, radio personalities, NGO workers, etc. And I hope, that this day will also be a platform for some networking and possible summer-internships for the students in attendance!

I came up with this idea after I sat in on a biology class. There were only five students seated there that day, out of a total of eight who are registered. And half of the class are girls. I talked with the teacher afterward to find out why the number of students focused on the sciences is so miniscule compared to the others. He said, the students are scared, lazy and not motivated and last year, there were 10 biology students and only five of them passed the Bacculaurate (an equivalent to an American high school diploma). This really saddened me because I was a science major and I want to motivate more students to pursue it. Hence, i asked the director if he'd be open to hosting a "Career Day" and voila, we plan to host one on April 9th!

My other project is the construction of a school library. I've asked the Ministry of Education for help on this project and from talking with them, I see that this is going to be a huge undertaking. I have to host meetings, write budgets/timelines, find funding, find books, find librarians. But the biggest stressor is working with people, and not just people, but people who have no concept of time! And honestly, I'm more like a "Creative Director", than a "Manager", but Peace Corps has provided me with tools to help me do all of this (Do any of you have tips on management???) But, I find myself wondering, "Did I jump into this too soon?" Maybe, maybe not, but this library is needed and I'm going to try my very best to get it done. Even if it takes the rest of my time here to finish it, it will get done.

Both of these projects are really going to be a test of my management and communication skills. Y'all keep praying for me!

Just Breathe

So, a lot has happened over the past month and a half. This is the main reason why I haven't updated this blog.

I had a very rough January/part of February. After the Christmas break, I caught cold and I went in to see the doctor to find that my blood pressure was sky-high, 160/100! I, stupidly, hadn't been taking my medicine and the doctor made me stay in Bamako to get tested for various things for a week. They found that everything is fine, physically and I've lost 30 lbs. Since then, I had to come into Bamako every week to get my blood pressure checked. From coming in to talk with my doctor, we found that my high BP was caused by stress and anxiety, not because of my work, but because of my environment.

I have been living in one room, in a concession with 30 or so people , and it had finally taken its toll on me. There was always constant questioning and teasing from girls in my compound, who are clearly jealous of me and it got to me. But, it wasn't the actual teasing that got to me, it was the lack of personal space over a length of 6-months. Can you imagine living like this? I was feeling cornered-in and this is why I was having anxiety attacks. I couldn't focus on my work, I was escaping village whenever I could to get my much needed space.

But now, things are a lot better. I made my voice heard at the Peace Corps office and they have acted quickly on helping my family build my house! There was talk of PC finding me a new home outside of my families concession, but they decided it would not be safe. Therefore, I'll have three-rooms and a gwa (patio) built in my families concession. It will be finished by March 10th!