Growing up as Djeneba:

When I came here, I had to go through a birthing process. I actually feel as if I've been a baby, child, a moody tween, a rebellious teenager and now I'm a young woman. I'll explain by going into further detail about each stage:

Baby Djeneba: born on July 4th, 2010, adopted by Djeneba Sidibe and the Dugutigi of my training village. I had no language skills, I could barely remember how to say hi in Bambara, so I mostly spoke in French. I burned my hand and tongue trying to eat Malian-dishes. I got sick all the time as my immune system got used to new bacterial diseases. I was wide-eyed and everything was brand new. I had to write about everything that I went through, every day for my first 2-3 months. I was green.

Child Djeneba: After 3 or 4 months of being in Mali, I had gained enough language skills to do more than just greet people. I got adopted by a new family. I had to make myself known on a professional-level with my shaky-Bambara and okay-French. I was like a fawn on new legs, so wobbly! But, I had no shame in my game, I was trying my best to adjust and it was made known vocally that I was appreciated by my co-workers. I was growing.

Moody-tween Djeneba: Around my 7th or 8th month, I was going through a lot emotionally. I blame most of on the anti-malarial medication that I was taking. However, I had been living in one-room for 6 months and feeling cramped by living with such a large family. I couldn't work on any projects, because I was focused on making me happy again. My mood would go up and down, there would be days when I would just stay in my room. I hated my host dad because he wouldn't, couldn't build my promised house. And at the same time, I was being bullied by female members in my family and having physical and mental health issues. I'd never felt so weak in my entire life, but it's in our weakest moments that we become strong.

Rebellious Djeneba: I think this started after I got back from Italy (month 10) and I first rocked my afro. I had been thinking about wearing a 'fro in village, I had been wearing half of it in a ponytail for awhile and was getting tired of it. But after women (just in my family) started calling me crazy for the way I wore my hair, and I had just got over a near-nervous breakdown, I decided to deny myself to express myself. I convinced myself that the reason I shouldn't wear my fro was so I wouldn't offend the culture. I didn't want it to interrupt my work. But, I knew I was lying to myself, I was actually vulnerable and couldn't take anymore criticism from my family.
And because I couldn't express myself with my hair, I started to lax on some of the Malian-cultural things I'd been trained to do. I started to lax on greetings (rude), took tea with guys at night (scandalous!), seperated myself from the family (suck it!). Isn't this experience supposed to be an exchange of ideas? I would only wear my 'fro outside of village, where I could be myself. I was hiding myself and this wasn't right.

A big thing about this culture is hiding who you are in the day time, and being your true self at night. Most people don't even greet at night! I just started not caring about doing things my family's way, because it didn't matter what I did, I was always going to be criticized. Then one day, I just said forget this! I've been taught to let my light shine! So, out of rebellion I decided to wear my 'fro.

Young woman Djeneba: Now, as a young woman, I feel a lot more confident in myself. I've gotten out under the claws of my family. After being here for more than a year, and seeing the way that other family's live, talking with women who love my individuality, I've realized that I can't listen to the crazy things the women in my family says anymore. They are the only one's who continue to rag on me, like they can change me and make me theirs, like they own me. They have no control over me, something that I've been forcing them to understand since the beginning. And as much as they would like me to be like them, they have to realize that that will never happen. I am not Malian. I am not Djeneba. I am Jade. They don't understand me well, this is partly my fault. So, now that I'm wiser, off crazy meds, gained a nice support network and have grown in so many other ways, I think it's time to teach them more about who I am.