Me and this guy, Kone were discussing why so many women are not married. This conversation started because he expressed his intentions to write my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. I told him I would never marry him because: 1. He's Muslim and 2. He's already married and I refuse to be his second wife. He didn't accept that because he said that in his eyes, I'm already married......to him. Okaaaaay, but no.
So, then he asked me how many marriage proposals I had in America. Hahaha, zero, but I already have nine, in Mali. Of course, he followed this question with a why-question and I found myself having the same conversation I've had among my American friends: why are there so many single (Black) women?
However, this time, I got an outsider perspective on the matter. He said that it is difficult to get married in Europe and America because men must make a lot of preparations before marriage. In Mali, you don't need a lot of means to get married because the family takes care of mostly everything. Most men continue to live with their parents and the price of living is very little here, so they don't need to continually work. You can survive on very little and so they can also marry up to four wives and be able to care for all of them.
He also told me that he has a lot of friends who are married to Western women. I found that very interesting and I asked if I could meet these couples. He continued to say that these Western women come and visit every 3 months, but continue to work in their country. I was like, "Huh?" He said that these men had already taken wives that their parents have given them and the Western women refuse to live with multiple wives, so they just visit. So, it's like these women have double lives, one in the "real world" and then a fantasy one where they are married to an African man that they visit on holiday. Why did they "marry" these men? Because it's too hard to marry in their country.
awww so sad
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