Over the holidays, I visited Paris, Lyon, Marseille, and Dubai. I had a lot of fun, ate a lot of food, drank a lot of french wines and champagnes, I felt clean for the first time in months and overall, I was happy! But, I was living a dream-life that none of my Malian friends could even dream of and I felt like a jerk and I didn't know why. And I couldn't figure it out, until after this chain of events:
In the beginning of my trip, I got pick-pocketed of all the money I had been saving for 6-months before my trip! I was initially shocked, then devastated when I realized the depth of my situation, but I have family and friends who reminded me that I'm not alone, and I thank them for that. But, I still questioned why God would allow this to happen to me?
My unfortunate circumstance didn't end there, as I got ticketed on a train, then purchased an expensive discount pass the next day to avoid another ticket, only not to have my ticket checked on my return trip! I was pissed and wondered why I was losing all of my money? Why me!?
Then, one evening, in Dubai, I drank an espresso with shavings of gold and as much as I wanted to enjoy the experience, I couldn't help but think, "What am I doing!?" Here I am drinking gold, while many people I know eat toh in the dirt every day! I felt totally disconnected from the people who have cared for me the last 1.5 years. What's worse, is I felt disconnected from who I have grown to be over the last 1.5 yrs and I felt guilt.
It was at this moment that I realized that, there I was in one of the richest nations in the world, drinking gold, when I had no money the week before and I realized that I was so upset over nothing. I was drinking GOLD! I realized that all of the money that I had saved was not for me, I had no need of it. I would have liked to have had it, at least some of it, but I really had no business having all of that cash. At that moment, I realized how blessed I am, how rich I am in life to be able to say that I didn't need that money.
Now, when I think back on the man who took my money, I can only hope that my money did some good for his family. It was Christmas time, everyone deserves a nice Christmas. I sure had a good one. But, it hurts to think that the money, taken by a stranger, could have been given to those in my community. Those who need money to buy medicine for their kids, those who don't have money to eat, those who need books for school. My heart ached thinking of all of those that I ignored, not the few that I gave to. I felt so selfish, even though I've given 1.5 years of my life to help others.
I just know that I can do more, give more, be more and I hope that for those of you who read this, you'll realize this too. We all have so much to offer, we can all spare to give more this year.
Jade,
ReplyDeleteI really like and understand where you're coming from in that you were robbed of all your money and this is how you came to realize how rich in life you were. The money lost could have gone a long way with you in your travels but it could have gone an even longer way with the people in your village.