Cultural Matters

09/13/10
So, today was really strange. First of all, I saw my first Malian hug between my sister and her friend and they even kissed cheeks. I was very surprised at the amount of affection shown. Secondly, my sister came over to where I was sitting and I could tell she had been crying! In a culture where it’s socially unacceptable to cry, I was surprised to see her tear-stained face and I had no idea what to do, but I couldn’t ignore her emotions. So, I asked her what was wrong and of course she said nothing. I can only guess that something went on between her and her husband. In America, I would have given her a hug, but I wasn’t sure how it would be received, so instead, I gave her some water and gave her a smile. Sooooo lame. Then this afternoon, I got divorced and then remarried to my sister’s brother, who I haven’t even seen a picture of, because I don’t want 10 children. I think the most I could handle is one, but I’m not even thinking about having kids at this point. Then, my sister tried to compromise with me and asked me if four kids is a good number, I jokingly said yeah, so I’m engaged again. Ha! Then, this evening was reeeeally strange. Since I’ve been here, I have always eaten dinner with my uncle, my sister’s husband. But, tonight, Adama asked me to get up and eat at another spot! I was really confused and so was my uncle. The only thing I can think of to explain this behavior change is that because Moussa likes eating with me, and because she was still upset, she didn’t want me sitting with him. Or, she wanted me to eat away from him because I am a woman and men and women eat separately, but that would be so random. So, out of confusion, and because it is my job as a PC volunteer to promote equality, I picked up my seat and I sat next to Moussa. And when Adama returned, I think Moussa asked her why I was moved and I didn’t hear a response, but I saw her walk into the house. She came out a minute later, luckily she wasn’t crying, but I am still confused. I don’t know what’s going on, but I will not be brought into the middle of it. It’s hard being an American female in a Muslim country because I want to assimilate to the culture, but at the same time, I am here to help change the culture. I guess it’s all about balance, not forgetting my values, and not marrying a Muslim.